View Full Version : Help me please!

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08-13-2008, 08:02:57
title found.

my book will be called The Blood Parade.

You can find the chapters here:

Please note, that the contents are not suitable for children.

as for my second book, i have not decided.

08-13-2008, 11:00:43
Well, it would help to make suggestions if we knew what the book is about.

08-13-2008, 18:09:09
Subject of the book?
Main characters?
Maybe some keywords from the book's plot?

I understand you not wanting to give away the details of the book, but we need some info to help you get good ideas, lol.

08-14-2008, 01:43:30
Genre: Romance
the main characters are Rosemary White and Curtis...i don't have a last name for him yet...
basically, it's about a girl who moves to Bakersfield, CA from Florida in january with her parents. she has to start her senior year late, but she can still graduate. she walks in and sees a strange guy. his eyes are red. (a little weird, but it makes sense later.) they begin talking and soon become good friends. she finds out he's a vampire and fate had put them together, but he will die if she is not a vampire by the end of the year.

needs a little work, but it's coming out great. all i need is a title and the rest of the book. i'm on chapter 17...i think...i'm not sure, but it's pretty far along. soo. much help would be appreciated. sorry i didn't put it in the first message! :P

08-14-2008, 02:56:16
Haha, does she go to north next year? Then she'll be in the same class as me... but there are no vamp's at north, :P

Hmmm... is there an aspect of comedy or drama in it?
Or, is it written in 1st person of Rose, or 3rd person?
And, if 3rd person: omniscient, limited, or limited/objective?

08-14-2008, 07:22:58
first person. it's sort of mixed comedy drama and romance. at first i wanted to call it Roses are Red, but i dunno.

WAIT, do you live in Bako?

08-14-2008, 10:55:08
Arghh. i'm writing a book and i CAN'T THINK OF A TITLE!!
:longface: :bur2:
this really bugs me. no matter how much i try, i just can't get one in my head. help would be MUCH MUCH appreciated in this AND i would include you in my special thanks. so please, help me out.what type of book is it?:lam::pcsmasher:daz::hmm::happydancing::dewave: :yayfox:

08-14-2008, 10:55:48
Here was a description:

Genre: Romance
the main characters are Rosemary White and Curtis...i don't have a last name for him yet...
basically, it's about a girl who moves to Bakersfield, CA from Florida in january with her parents. she has to start her senior year late, but she can still graduate. she walks in and sees a strange guy. his eyes are red. (a little weird, but it makes sense later.) they begin talking and soon become good friends. she finds out he's a vampire and fate had put them together, but he will die if she is not a vampire by the end of the year.

needs a little work, but it's coming out great. all i need is a title and the rest of the book. i'm on chapter 17...i think...i'm not sure, but it's pretty far along. soo. much help would be appreciated. sorry i didn't put it in the first message! :P

08-14-2008, 23:56:00
No, I just go to north high in bako (actually the dale, :P) because I live in vermont! :P (sarcasm, duhh)

Hmmm... I was gonna say... Love Bites, but it's too cliche, and it's already been used for a book, *xD*

If she lets herself become a vamp, then it could possibly be
"The biggest sacrifice of my teenage life!"

I'll think of something better, lol.

(^^^ PS, you don't have to tell me as to give away the ending, lol^^^)

And, @fufeline:
Look 3 posts above yours.

08-15-2008, 00:52:59
LovelyUndeadVam, I really like the plot of the story. Because I've always liked vampire stories, if it's either in a book or movie.:)
I was thinking the title could be The Rose's Fate. Or possiblly, The Fate Of The Rose. Something along those lines anyway, because of the main character's name, Rosemary and how she has to meet this fate to help Curtis by the end of the year.
It's just an idea...if it's bad, it's bad. I don't really mind, I'm not an expert in these kind of things anyway! :):P
lol. :P

08-15-2008, 01:37:50
I am curious.. why will he die if she is not a vampire by the end of the year? Or reveals the answer to this too much?

08-15-2008, 04:13:52
For all of these titles that we come up with, It would really fit only if it matches the mood of the story, which we cannot know until we read it, *xD* so there is no way of knowing if it is good or not....

*** New title possibility: Blood Red Rose

08-15-2008, 04:34:54
well i like all your titles, but they just don't...CLICK. do you know what i mean? is it just a writer thing?? ahh, and i didn't give away the ENDING, just a PART. i will post the first chapter sometime.

but i must warn you, it DOES have cuss words. :P plus, i'm not really with any publishers yet, but i plan to have a couple copies printed from a UPS store or something so my mom and friend shannon can correct it. :D it has flaws still, as it's just a rough copy.


heh heh heh. you will see. BAHAHA.


i like, but what about Bloody Roses?
yes, no?
i dunno. we SHALL keep brainstorming!

08-15-2008, 06:02:04
Haha, IDK, it's your story. Like I said, we don't know it like you.

08-17-2008, 01:01:01
Good so far.

There are minor editorial and grammatical errors, but nothing to big

If you want to indent on this forums, then click the "increase indent" button just under the colors tab. Then, just type what you want indented between the two tags.

However, if you don't want the whole thing indented (like ^) then you must take out the indent manually where the
next line is. All you have to do is start typing on the next line outside of the indent end bracket. But it will be double spaced,

and you have to manually double space it yourself to make it look even.

Some things are cliche, but nothing too bad. However, the "prep" thing is laid on a little strong for this early in Courtney's character.
If you want some editorial advice/oponions, PM me.

08-17-2008, 21:18:49
heh heh heh, Courtney...well, if it's published, i'll let you figure it out. :D

let's just say, everything you read is important, because you never know if it will come to something MORE important. my writing style is...weird, at best. things happen at the end of the book that was mentioned in the beginning, and if you weren't paying attention before, you would have to go back and re read. i admit, i've had to do it before in a book. it wasn't fun, but after the first time, you learn. :P

08-19-2008, 20:58:20
:hmm: If the worst happens and it doesn't get published will you post it so we can continue reading :? :D
(I find it interesting :P)

08-21-2008, 06:16:55
i'm going to warn you, it is a romance. :P or, at least, it's supposed to be. :D

08-25-2008, 08:43:43
So :P If a book can interest me in the first chapter then I would like to continue reading :haha:

Glad that you might post it :hug2:

08-25-2008, 23:10:55
i'm glad you like it. :D i don't know if i can finish it. you know, with school starting in all i'm pretty busy.

08-31-2008, 06:44:15
Well, I hope you can!!!
I would like to be able to read it all... :smile::smile::smile:

09-05-2008, 20:14:09
i dunno, i have A LOT of editing to do. i didn't put enough details and i already wrote 17 chapters. ughh, i don't want to read AGAIN. i've read it so many times i can recite it back to front. :( i don't know what to do. i also have a very bad case of "writer's block" and can't come up with one good idea.

maybe i'll read it a couple years from now, when i forget what i wrote...i dunno. does anyone want the second chapter??

09-09-2008, 04:04:12
I would like that very much, YES YES YES

09-09-2008, 16:16:45

09-09-2008, 16:56:17

09-10-2008, 00:42:56
I like the name switch :D Sounds like it just fits more :haha:

Edit : Okay finished reading and I have a question, are you doing the vampire type that like turns into a vampire at night or something :? Otherwise I would have to ask about how he is still alive in light :haha:

Other than that I love it! Can you post chapter three :D and I don't mind if it's in the shape of the first chapter you posted :D I still love reading it

09-10-2008, 02:14:08
Yay, was good!!!
I like these kinds of stories, kuz they are awesome, and both of the characters sound a lot like me (Except the vampire/girl party, :P)
Haha, also love the fact that it is set in my city, so I know where those streets are and can visualize it better, :P

Hmmm... lots of little grammar/spelling mistakes, but it is good!

09-10-2008, 06:57:28
:appl: Post another :haha: :D It's starting to get good :D

09-10-2008, 08:10:59
yeah post another. i love this story!!! :)

09-11-2008, 01:14:27
Aww :( That was so short I think you should post another :rofl-smilie:


09-11-2008, 02:13:34

I was hooked by chapter one! Another chapter please! And please post the full story so I don't have to keep asking :haha:

09-11-2008, 02:27:06

Aww :( I will have to wait :S Maybe I will go play spore for 30 minutes untill I come back to read it :haha: I really hope you get it published so I can buy it and read it from front to back :D

Edit: Btw that was a very shocking twist :haha: For a second I thought she actually killed him! :S

09-11-2008, 02:38:16
Eeee another please! :haha:

Yes I shall try to remain more aware now :haha:

Edit: YAY! You posted another as I posted this :D

Edit edit: Okay read both posted and I have to say this is getting very good :D And I don't care if you indent or not :P This isn't a publishing agency! As long as you can spell correctly it's fine by me :D

09-11-2008, 02:51:39
Lovely - Ooooh! You almost got me with that one :P About 1/3 through I knew she was dreaming again :haha:

Edit: Ooh another! *Reads*

09-11-2008, 03:05:01
Lovely - I'm so interested in your story :D Please post morrrreee!!

09-11-2008, 03:15:17
:happydancing: That was the best chapter ever! (12)

So is Rose a vampire? Or do they have to like kill the person to make them a vampire :?

09-11-2008, 03:23:49
:happydancing: Eeee! It's getting good and confusing! Just the way I like my stories :haha:

Thanks for clearing my question up :P

09-11-2008, 03:28:18

(So glad I'm a VERY fast reader so as to catch up...
This is inspiring me to publish my story, ;))

The dialog kinda got hard to follow in Chapter 8, but it is great.
The background info acutally explains 3 things!!! (That I HAVE FOUND, for all I know, there may be more, :P)

09-11-2008, 03:34:07
Lovely - http://i246.photobucket.com/albums/gg107/chappepoo/GreatJob.gif

Looooooooooove the story :D:D:D :happydancing:

09-11-2008, 03:42:04
:happydancing: I would buy this book 50 times over and hand it out to the neighbourhood so they could read it!

09-11-2008, 03:45:17
thanks. :P i'm happy you think that. now i'm going to have to write the rest of it! i'm interested myself! i forgot what i wrote for a minute there!

EDIT: i have to go eat dinner now. sorry everyone.

09-11-2008, 03:46:22
OMG, great (a little too romancy for me, but I still love it)

I knew they were connected, but I am wondering if that vampire appirition was real or not...
There is still something funny about that disease that led to the five month coma tho...

EDIT: I know how you could get this published:
Go to the Boarders in town (on stockdale highway). They have a whole "Local Writings" section, and then I could pick it up too (I buy books every couple weeks) Plus, I could buy some and ship them to Heart here too, :P

09-11-2008, 03:46:47
Oh nooooooooo! You can't leave me in the middle of the story like this :( :sad:

I hope a huge woosh of inspiration comes to you and you can finish the book :D

Edit: Justeazy - I was wondering that too :hmm: Maybe we will have to wait and see what it actually was

09-11-2008, 03:50:03
@Heart: Read my above edit!
Omg, I wish I was home earlier so I could have been up with you, but I caught up quick enough.

@undead: Embarassing moment: Somewhere in like chapter 12 or something, I squeeled when I read one part, :P:shy:

EDIT: OMG, I just realized,,, you still need a TITLE:hmm: We'll still have to help you think of one...

09-11-2008, 03:52:13
Justeazy - :o!! If you did that I would get a paypal account and send you some money(And lovely ;)) so I can go dropping off books all around the place
(Btw do you live in the same town as Lovely?)

09-11-2008, 03:54:41
YEP, that is how we could maybe possibly work together, :P
And, I can see (In my head) all of the streets they are on and such...

@Undead: Wait, did they go to Edwards theatre??? I think I may have seen them there... lol.
PS, are you on any teams that compete with other schools, kuz I am in a lot and I could like steal your book (so far that is) and read it(again), :P:haha:jkjk

09-11-2008, 05:21:06
OMG. i love your posts! :D they make me laugh. :) and i need it. i just got rejected by the person i liked so. i'm not in an inspiring mood.

@Justeazy: what part made you squeal? tell me! :D:D

09-11-2008, 05:39:19
Hmmm... I'll tell you tomorrow (I'm just like that tho, so If it was being read in a REAL book (like I turn pages instead of scroll) It'd probably be a lot of parts, lol

I gotta get off tho, go to bed, I'll find it tomorrow... lol

09-11-2008, 05:39:56
mmmkay. g'night. :)

09-11-2008, 05:55:15
You still need a name though :P

09-11-2008, 05:58:57

what do you think?

EDIT: http://www.diamondvues.com/Ruby%20Gemstone.jpg

Damien's eye color

09-11-2008, 06:00:11
Lovely - ? So... Rose is getting married for sure? :D

09-11-2008, 06:13:12
Okay, that's it. I think I now have some reading to do while I drink my coffee drink thingy in the morning. ;) This sounds like a good story. :) :D

09-11-2008, 06:13:58
Escape - I think it's a very good story :D Hope you enjoy it :happydancing:

09-11-2008, 06:21:20
@Heart-you never know when i come up with a twist! :D

@Escape-i hope you like it. :) i worked very hard to get it the way i wanted it.

09-11-2008, 06:23:56
Lovely - Ok :haha: :P

09-11-2008, 06:24:45
:) i'm working with the eighteenth chapter now, and it's like a stroke. OF GENIUS! :D:D:D

09-11-2008, 06:28:29
Lovely- I hope you finish before I go to bed so I can read it :haha:

09-11-2008, 06:30:17
i might. i'm on the second page already! :D

09-11-2008, 06:31:41
:D!!! Well I need to go to sleep very soon otherwise I might wake up late :P

09-11-2008, 06:32:43
:o set an alarm! :D haha. i have my phone set to 6:40 AM. :) but if you don't want to, it will be up tomorrow.

09-11-2008, 06:33:48
Well i'm just hoping you get it finished veeeery soon :P

09-11-2008, 16:05:14
:happydancing: Yay 2 more!

Can't wait for the next one :D

09-11-2008, 16:06:05
:) i worked hard on these. i hope you like them. :P

09-11-2008, 16:10:46
I did :D I thought you were going to kill rose :haha:

09-11-2008, 16:15:20
Naww, if i was going to i wouldn't do it so early. it'd be at the end.

EDIT: Rose's wedding bouquet:

09-11-2008, 23:48:38
Oooh wierd I wonder how she healed :?

09-11-2008, 23:52:37
still figuring that out.

09-11-2008, 23:54:45
:haha: Darn! I saw your name under "Help me please!" on the main forum page and thought you posted another chapter :P

09-11-2008, 23:55:31
hahaha. sorry!

09-11-2008, 23:55:57
That's about the 50ith time it's happened so don't worry :haha: :P

09-11-2008, 23:57:40
i have writers block right now, but i'm sure that in a couple minutes something will happen.

09-12-2008, 00:06:23
Lovely - Okay :D

09-12-2008, 00:13:02
did escape ever read the chapters?? :?

09-12-2008, 00:14:11
Lovely - I don't know :S She's really busy though with school and all so she might not have

09-12-2008, 00:16:57
ehh, i am too. i'm doing homework. blahh. but my inspiration is coming back. :)

09-12-2008, 00:18:02
Lovely - Yay! :happydancing:

09-12-2008, 00:25:41
but i have to finish this homework. there isn't much. just math. oy. but there should be one in like an hour.

09-12-2008, 01:45:59
:nope: Naughty naughty *Wags finger* :P

09-12-2008, 01:46:44
did that give you goose bumps or WHAT? hahaha. i was writing it AND getting goose bumps at the same time!

09-12-2008, 01:47:58
So uh... Do you have the next chapter finished :? :rofl-smilie:

09-12-2008, 01:48:51
ahha. noo. it's blazing hot in my house so i'm going slow. :( i'm only just starting that one.

09-12-2008, 01:49:33
Lovely - Oh darn :P Guess I will have to wait :haha: *Returns to browsing and playing games*

09-12-2008, 01:51:29
hahaha. i dunno. i have to eat in like two minutes. maybe after i eat. *goes to work on it now*

09-12-2008, 01:54:37
:happydancing: Okay :D

09-12-2008, 03:10:25
Wha!? :o!?!?! Explain yourself Lovely!

09-12-2008, 03:11:30
what do i need to explain? :D *looks innocent*

09-12-2008, 03:12:30
Lovely - Well... What happened!?!?!?!! :S Is grant really dead? What happened in the fight scene? Were they at rose's house when it started? Where is this island? Are they going to be in the same town still? *Continues rambling on with questions*

09-12-2008, 03:15:06
HAHA. okay since i've grown to like you lots i'm going to actually answer these.

yes, he is really dead.

fight scene:
i'll explain it in the next chapter.

yes they were at Rose's house, in her room

The Island:
i dunno yet, somewhere where rosemary can grow.

they will eventually end up moving back, yes.

satisfied? any others? :)

09-12-2008, 03:17:12
Lovely - Aww :D Yay you like me :haha:

Hmm knowing you I think grant will come back :rolleye-smile:

I am satisfied but I have like a billion other questions that I think you could solve by finishing the book? :D :rofl-smilie:

09-12-2008, 03:19:17
yess, i like you! :D you like my online buddy.

haha. and yeah, i probably will come up with a twist on the spot.

it's almost done! :P:P thank you for supporting me. i will try to get it published.

EDIT: i will post the rest.

09-12-2008, 03:34:18
Lovely - :P Glad to know i'm not the annoying person who keeps begging for more chapters :haha:

I don't doubt it :P

I hope you do!!! :D

YAY!! :happydancing:

09-12-2008, 03:46:58
Heart-NAWWWW! i love that you like my book. :) encourages me.
i'm going to play pool for a minute. will be back soon.

09-12-2008, 03:51:18
(Just got done reading the rest after getting home/homework)

Hmmm... Grant is DEAD, but Vampires have to be DEAD to become vampires... so I'm wondering If he'll come back as a SUPER VAMPIRE or something... (Note, you said dead, not "not coming back" ;))

I'm sure they will move back, as you said "I have a hard time writing in a place other than where I live" (or something like that)

Hmmm... Damien STILL doesn't have a last name... but I'm just thinking maybe he uses misc last names as covers, and that's what he'll do for the last name for the wedding for Roses parents... (Long story short, I cannot decide what will be good for him)

OMG, For the longest time (like 4/5 pages) I thougt Heart was GH1, lol.

***Saving each chaptes into a foldered document!

Looked back, skimmed it all, cannot remember what part I "squeeled" on, :P

09-12-2008, 03:59:27
Lovely - Okay :D Can't wait

Justeazy - Don't give her any ideas! I don't want Grant to go all super powered and kill Damien or Rose!!! :scared-couch:

I like the misc name idea but remember that Rose's parents are dead :P

LOL! You were there when me and GH1 Switched!

:hmm: I don't think you should do that, some would consider it stealing, some meaining certain vampires :rolleye-smile:

09-12-2008, 04:09:07
HAHAHA. you guys rock. but, omg, Justeazy, my AC in my house is broken! :( it's BLAZING in here!

and i don't care if you save it, but you just can't HAVE it. you know? no copying! :D copyrighted to Lovely.

ps, don't publish it either! i want to do that! lol.

Heart- don't worry, Rose and Damien won't die. do any of you remember COURTNEY?

09-12-2008, 04:12:38
Lovely - I do!!!! :o! Post the chapter so I can see what happens :haha:

09-12-2008, 04:34:09
Well, she said she explained it in the NEXT chapter... and I think Damien might be lying...
We don't know exactly yet...

YES Undead, post next chapter plz!!!

09-12-2008, 04:35:07
OH i was going to do that huh?? oops. sorry. i'll post the next chapter in a few.

09-12-2008, 04:37:28
Lovely - Uhh... Was that a dream..? :? If not it was kinda rushed ^.^" anyways I am still very confused :rofl-smilie: I don't actually know what's going on at this point in the story but oh well I will continue waiting and reading hoping I get it :P

09-12-2008, 05:12:09
Ehehe :happydancing: Getting exciting again

09-12-2008, 05:13:48
ughh, i'm glad you think soo. in my opinion it's turning into incomprehensible mush. it's so hot in my house that my brain is frying. :S

09-12-2008, 05:14:54
Well in my opinion to make it interesting do a chapter on Rose and Damien hunting :D

09-12-2008, 05:15:21
haha. i was already planning that. :P

09-12-2008, 05:19:52
OMG, i almost squeeled then again...
(I think this is somehow still not real, or he is hoping since "Vampire memories are great, but human memories are lacking" that she will forget about that not-so-nice moment... or something, :haha:)

PS, that last post was BEFORE I saw the chapter above it, (This one is right after 24)

OMG... I think we need a little more stuffs in there...

Was that part... "We must leave now"
It said "He dragged him"... WHAT??? Is it supposed to mean Damien dragged himself (kuz he is the only he/him in the room)

09-12-2008, 05:21:33
heh. well you'll have to see. i might have to take a break, though, cause i myself am dying over here.

EIDT: has your avvy always been animated?!?

09-12-2008, 05:24:03
Lovely - Aww go get some rest or something then :P We can wait if needed tell tomorrow or the next day

09-12-2008, 05:24:04
Hmmm... Don't rush yourself to get the next chapter for us (even though I'd like it) if it would make you leave stuff out. Faster isn't always better, :haha:

*Blows some cool Oildale air down to (Was it stockdale?) to cool Undead off*

09-12-2008, 05:28:24
haha. you're all so nice. :) i could use that cool oildale air right now! lol. but i'm determind to get this done, even if it means burning my brain to a crisp. :D but at least i have a FAN. it's keeping me cool.

OMG i just remembered we have OTTER POPS!! *hurries off to get one*

09-12-2008, 05:29:41
You mean three fans ;) 1 literal and 2 er.. Non literal? :haha:

09-12-2008, 05:30:16
YAY, otter pops!!!

1 Litteral, and 2 groopie types, :P
(Plus, several other ppl said they liked it, just haven't been up in it's buziness as much as me/heart, lol :D)

*Just saw your above edit
Nope, just did it yesterday, :P
***Loves making his own avitars/sig pics/banners/logos/etc. because they are better than getting anything from someone else, :P

09-12-2008, 05:30:55
hahaha. yeah. and i mean the kind that blows air. :P

EDIT: Justeazy-ohh i get it now. :) this otter pop is pretty bomb. and cold. mmm. cold. :D

09-12-2008, 05:32:19

Umm... are you gonna post any more tonight... kuz I gotta go... :(:(:(???

09-12-2008, 05:33:26
i don't think so. i'm pooped. but i'm sure there will be one around three or four tomorrow. hopefully.

09-12-2008, 05:35:50
Lovely - Okay thanks for telling in advance :P I can go to sleep now and not wait in anticipation for the next chapter :haha: :hug2: Goodnight! :yaya:

09-12-2008, 05:35:51
heh heh heh, Courtney...well, if it's published, i'll let you figure it out. :D

let's just say, everything you read is important, because you never know if it will come to something MORE important. my writing style is...weird, at best. things happen at the end of the book that was mentioned in the beginning, and if you weren't paying attention before, you would have to go back and re read. i admit, i've had to do it before in a book. it wasn't fun, but after the first time, you learn. :P

OMG... WOW, glad I went back and read old posts...

09-12-2008, 05:37:22

@Heart-goodnight. :) sleep tight!

@Justeazy-haha. yeah i posted that a long time ago. :P really comes into play, huh?

09-12-2008, 05:39:41
Lol, omg, I am soooooooooooo lost in awesome bewilderment and anticipation of the next chapter(s) but I am still confuzzled about SOOO many things... hope they all (or at least most, you CAN leave it open for a sequel, lol) get answered... lol.

Going to see what's going on in other threads, then check out.

09-12-2008, 05:41:53
g'night everyone. :) i'll be on after another boring day of school. :haha:

09-12-2008, 09:26:31
wow. finally i finished all your new chapters. you typed heaps in a day :o the last time i read it, i was up 2 chpter 8!!! :o
it's pretty good so far, just a few bits are confusing and some bits are quite repetitive, is that on purpose? but all in all, still loving it. can't wait for more :)

09-12-2008, 15:27:01
well. i have good news...and bad news.

good news is i get to stay home from school today.

bad news is the reason why i'm staying home is because i have severe pain in my hips and knees. imagine that, huh? i'm 14 and i'm already having hip pains! :haha: and at least i have a good attitude about it.

so no worries anyone. i'll be sitting all day now :D and probably typing more of my book.

by the way, can all of you clear up what's confusing you? i'm sort of lost. i can clear it up by the end of the book, unless you all think i should have a SECOND book. :P

09-12-2008, 15:42:09
Omb! :hug2: I hope you get better tomorrow :S

Even though I may be happy you might be writing the book I still want you to be healthy!
Don't write the book if it starts to hurt! *Thinks of something parental to say* :hmm: No if's and's or but's :nope:

Well before you start planning a second book I suggest you finish the first :rofl-smilie:

09-12-2008, 16:06:13
hahaha. well i'll be sitting all day regardless. so my old woman hips can just shut up. :haha: i will be writing all day, probably, so expect to see some chapter up by the end of the day (or sooner ;))

EDIT: forgot to say thankyou! :D thank you for the roses. :P

09-12-2008, 16:07:43
Lovely - Okay but don't push yourself! :S

09-12-2008, 16:09:10
nawww, i was up all night thinking about the 25 chapter, and when i couldn't sleep i turned it on and started writing. i'm almost done with that one. :)

09-12-2008, 17:20:41
Yeah so do you actually have the title to the book now cos av just read 25 and 26

09-12-2008, 17:22:41
Oh, no not yet. Justeazy and i are brainstorming, and Heart is giving me motivation ;) but i haven't really come up with one yet.

09-12-2008, 17:36:03
Well what about just off reading 25 and 26 a very simple title

Fangs: demons at bay ( a bit rubbish)

or The sirens

or The blood circus

or The madworld

09-12-2008, 17:38:31
ohh, The Blood Circus sounds scary. :haha: :P

09-12-2008, 17:53:36
Hi what about something slick and striking like

The blood parade
A tale of two fangs
Vampires in the dusk
Night of blood
Hells fangs
Blood raiders
sirens slaughte

09-12-2008, 17:56:11
OHH The Blood Parade sounds good too! :D i'm liking your suggestions!

09-12-2008, 17:59:33
Ok then what about these

The blood heist
Sealed with a drop of blood
The blood bank
Vampires together
The blood thieves
The blood sirens
Gold or blood
Just love blood
blood envy
The red puddles

09-12-2008, 18:00:55
i dunno, i thing The Blood Parade is winning, but i might tweak it a little cause this book is a romance. hmmm. naww. i like The Blood Parade the best. :) and it goes with my idea of the cover art.

09-12-2008, 18:03:34
What ides have other people suggested

09-12-2008, 18:07:20
The Light in my Dark and...uhh. there were others but i can't remeber them. we kinda tossed them in the brainstorm pool.

sort of like my idea, but tweaked:

09-13-2008, 00:31:55
I've read a few chapters vam, and I must say, this is brilliant.
The story is good, and I don't even like these kinds of novels. Makes my work look bad. :haha:
Guess I like these kinds of novels after reading this. I think I'll read more.

09-13-2008, 00:34:32
thank you someguy. i'm sorry i couldn't finish your ghost story. :$ my eyes are really messed up. also, sorry if there are typos in any of the chapters.

09-13-2008, 00:36:40
Really, I don't mind changing the font if you want me too.
I could make it bigger and a different color that won't hurt your eyes.

09-13-2008, 00:39:00
naw. i'll be able to read it after my stra...STRA...i dunno how spell it. its some thing where one eye turns in and blends the words.

09-13-2008, 00:42:20
ok then.

09-13-2008, 00:43:05
send me the link again. :) imma read it.

09-13-2008, 00:47:22

09-13-2008, 01:01:30
Wow that was good too! a homicidal zombie. :D hahaha.

09-13-2008, 01:34:35
omg lol i have to read more of the book i just read the last chapter ans just a friendly thing i only saw ine mistake isle should be soelled aisle

09-13-2008, 01:34:36
Lovely - :appl::appl:!!! Okay that was an awesome story :D it also left an opening for a second book... *Cough cough* ;)

09-13-2008, 01:35:17
hahaha. maybe there will be little Rosies and Damiens running around. :D i'm jk.

09-13-2008, 01:50:59
:o! I'm glad your joking :rofl-smilie: If you must I suggest that you do it on the veeery last page of the veery last book :P

09-13-2008, 01:55:51
HAHA. i'm not going to. then again, that's what i said about grant being dead.

09-13-2008, 02:20:46
Lovely - Urrg :@ I hope grant doesn't come back AGAIN

09-13-2008, 02:26:15
OH NO. he's definently dead. don't you remember? rose broke his spine AND kicked him.

09-13-2008, 02:39:01
Lovely - Damien cut him up to peices and burned him.. That didn't stop him :rofl-smilie:

Kicked him? LOL! After what Damien did I find it hard to believe that did any damage :P

09-13-2008, 02:44:07
well. he's dead. Courtney killed him. somehow. what were you confused on before? you all told me you were confused but never told me what about. :P

09-13-2008, 02:56:25
Lovely - Eh i'm not so confused anymore :P *Waits for confirmation on a second book or that the last chapter was the end for sure* :D

09-13-2008, 03:05:11
i might have a second book. i dunno. that chapter was definently the end.

09-13-2008, 03:25:52
Read a few more chapters in.
It's pretty cool.

09-13-2008, 03:26:35
Thank you. :) i appreciate it, someguy.

EDIT: i wonder what i'm going to do now that i have no novel to write. :?

09-13-2008, 03:58:23

Hmmm... I think it could have used a few more chapters... felt kinda like you rushed things there at the end...

HMMM... loved it tho!!!
I still wanna know what's the deal with the daylight walking...

09-13-2008, 03:59:54
hahaha. what were you confused on earlier?

09-13-2008, 04:00:00
You don't go to your forums anymore JE :P

I gotta go. bye.

09-13-2008, 04:05:42
wow. i have almost nothing to do. :haha: cause i don't have my novel to write anymore. maybe i'll start another...

09-13-2008, 04:20:33
Lovely - You could do a whole entirely new novel with new characters and such in a different thread :P

09-13-2008, 04:42:08
@Undead: I was confuzzed about:

1: What's the deal with the daylight walking...

2: Damien knew Courtney was Grants wife, why was he working with her for a while? (When she was controlling him, when he snapped outta it, he didn't remember what happened, but he knew everything that happened when he was working with Courtney)

3: Why, (it had been years since grant bit her, and he could track her easily) did he not ever show himself again until Damien was in the scene?

4: How did Rose's parents die?

5: Why/how does Rose know just how to defeat Grant/Courtney after just learning Grant's real name...

6: Will Rose ever visit "Bill" again like she said.

7: Is "Bill" Dracula??? And, if not, will they ever see him (since Damien said he is alive, and I took that to a meaning)
(If he is Dracula, I think the location should be somewhere different, *cough*Transylvania*cough*)


9: How come noone wonders about their red eyes when they are talking to everyone? Everyone just seems to accept it as normal...

10: Does the world think nothing of these random attacks with victims being bitten on the neck commonly?

(have more, but let you rest with these at the moment)

I go to both my forums everyday... THIS ONE (http://justeazygamesnsider.myfreeforum.org/) I am more active at (Just got LOTS more smilies)

09-13-2008, 05:06:48
Justeazy - In my opinion things are best left unanswered so you can imagine the answers for yourself :P

09-13-2008, 05:13:47
Hmmm... In that case, PUT THE ANSWERS (That you will give, I respect holding back details) IN A SPOILER THAT SAYS "Do Not Read: Heartofthedark" :P

I like to get the in depth details of stories I like... and, as you can tell, I like this story, :P:D

09-13-2008, 05:17:45
:mhmh: That's not what I was intending

09-13-2008, 05:35:19
yes those are all the things i was wondering 2!!!
those are the parts that were confusing me

09-13-2008, 06:02:27
Lol, I don't necessarilly need to know these (like those that put the timeline after the last chapter) but I would like to know, lol.

I hope she at least answers SOME of them, lol.

09-13-2008, 06:34:34
Justeazy-WOW that's a lot of questions. i guess i'm going to need a SECOND book after all!

but, because you want to know, and i've also grown to like you too, i'm going give you insight to an authors mind.

1: What's the deal with the daylight walking...
it's a myth in this book. they can stand the sunlight.

2: Damien knew Courtney was Grants wife, why was he working with her for a while? (When she was controlling him, when he snapped outta it, he didn't remember what happened, but he knew everything that happened when he was working with Courtney)
Courtney LET him remember. Damien did know, but he didn't know that Courtney even had a power.

3: Why, (it had been years since grant bit her, and he could track her easily) did he not ever show himself again until Damien was in the scene?
he did show himself. in the house and at the hospital. she was alone both times.

4: How did Rose's parents die?

5: Why/how does Rose know just how to defeat Grant/Courtney after just learning Grant's real name...
she knew that it would stun him. which, in turn, gave her enough time to break his back bones(they heal a lot slower than the flesh)

6: Will Rose ever visit "Bill" again like she said.
i'm not sure yet.

7: Is "Bill" Dracula??? And, if not, will they ever see him (since Damien said he is alive, and I took that to a meaning)
(If he is Dracula, I think the location should be somewhere different, *cough*Transylvania*cough*)
no, bill is not Dracula. that comes later. *grins*

i had to think of a way to end school! i didn't want to describe it ALL so i just gave her a disease.

9: How come noone wonders about their red eyes when they are talking to everyone? Everyone just seems to accept it as normal...
most of them can't see the red eyes, but Rose was meant to be a vampire, so she had the natural ability to see them.

10: Does the world think nothing of these random attacks with victims being bitten on the neck commonly?
they heal quickly, which Rose did not know.

are you good? yes, yes, going once going twice. SOLD the the gentleman with the name Justeazy. :) hahaha. so i guess i DEFINENTLY need a second one, eh?

09-13-2008, 07:01:10
YEP, you will probably get lots of questions outta me because that is just the way I am, :P
If I annoy you, or you don't wanna give stuff away, just say so tho, lol

Hahaha, YES YES YES, :P

1: Good Enough
2: Hmmm... interesting...
3: I meant, he never came back to Rose until AFTER she met Damien
4: Lol, I get it (;) lol)
5: Hmmm... not exactly what I was thinking about... but good, lol
6: Ooh, possibility of a sequel!?!
7: Ooh, a BIGGER possibility of a sequel!?!
8: http://images.freewebs.com/Images/Smilies/Round/dry.gif... cheater ...http://images.freewebs.com/Images/Smilies/Round/dry.gif
9: Okay, didn't even think of anything that way... but then... why does "Bill" need to wear contacts?
10: Hmmm... So, they always bite Drunk Guys so they won't remember and don't report it, :haha: jk

09-13-2008, 07:04:12
haha, very funny with the drunk guys. :haha: and yes, i did cheat a little. :P i need some way to make a long time go by, and i was just thinking off the top of my head. NONE of this was preplanned. i just...did it.

09-13-2008, 07:12:23
Hmmm... http://images.freewebs.com/Images/Smilies/Round/dry.gif
(OMG, GH needs to get this smilie so I don't have to rip the URL from a different site)

I've been meaning to do this for a long while...

In the morning, call this number:
328-9800 (Borders; 4980 Stockdale Highway)

Ask for the service desk, then ask about the "Local Writings Publication" program. That is a good way for beginning/unknown writers to get their works published.

I believe you get more out of it if you sell more copies! (Which you will if I/Mailing to heart has anything to do about it, ;))

09-13-2008, 07:16:40
haha. will doo. :P i probably won't be awake for a while though. i tend to sleep in on the weekends. :haha:

soo i have to know. on a scale from one to ten, what's the rating on my book? (which i spent two months on, stopped for six, then continued until it was done. :))

EDIT: originally, i was going to make Damien leave Rose, because he didn't want to kill her in the first place. but then i decided that it was too much like Twilight (the book that inspired me in the first place) so i didn't do that. though it would have been a nice twist in the plot.

09-13-2008, 07:24:33
Hmmm... I'd prob give it 8.5/10, prob... give or take a little from after editing/final version, lol.

That okay then! If you call in the middle of the day, more likely a manager there who can help you better, lol.

09-13-2008, 07:26:40
hahaha. yeahh, "i'm great in bed. i can sleep for hours." :) it suits me soo well. :haha: did you read my above edit?

09-13-2008, 07:26:44
write another one...PLEASE???!!! *puts on irresistible puppy eyes*

09-13-2008, 07:28:34
Choc-awww. i can't resist the puppy dog eyes! :P i am going to write another. that one will be better.

09-13-2008, 07:37:55
Yep, read it...
Don't know what to say to it, but I think the book was better this way than it would have been that way, lol.

09-13-2008, 07:41:23
yeahh, cause then everyone would have been mad at Damien for leaving. :haha:

and yes, i would make five or six copies. i would send one to you and Heart, then to my friends Shannon and Danielle. then to my mom...thennn one for me. :) cause every writer needs a copy of their own books. :haha:

09-13-2008, 16:21:51
:rofl-smilie: I like the answer to number four

09-13-2008, 19:13:00
:) thank you. haha. well, now i'm trying to figure out how i'm going to get my book from my laptop to a disk or something because i need to get it printed. *thinks really hard* it's too bad my mom sleeps forever in a day! :haha:

09-13-2008, 19:23:55
Lovely - Get a cheap USB stick for like 10 dollars, transfer the file onto there and bring it to them :D They are small and compact

09-13-2008, 19:48:11
hmm. i considered that, then i saw how much money it would cost to get shelf space at borders. :huh: FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS?!

09-13-2008, 20:05:44
I'll donate.

09-13-2008, 20:40:48
OH my no i'm not asking for donations! :) thank you very much, someguy, i really appreciate the offer! you don't need to donate, just keep your eyes peeled. :P

09-13-2008, 20:53:13
Hmmm... that boarders thing costs $500??? :o???
I didn't know that, or else I wouldn't have recommended it, lol...
Hmm, maybe you can find some other, cheaper way to do it, http://justeazygames.webs.com/shiftyeyes.gif
Hope so, kuz I'd like to own a completed version!

09-13-2008, 20:56:17
the thing online said premium comes with editorial evaluation, and you need that to get shelf space. otherwise i would go the the three hundred dollar one. *sighs* this is going to be difficult. i haven't called them yet cause i was busy trying to get ready to go to a wedding for my mom's friend. i think i'm going to get my mom to take me there so we can see what's what. i mean, we will ALREADY be out...:P

09-13-2008, 21:15:21
Lol, that would be good. Maybe you could work out a deal. (I'm not sure how it works, just asked them about it briefly when I saw the "local writings" section)

I just figured it might be a good way to get it out there at least a little bit. All I know is, if it gets there (or even not, just printed) you will sell at least 3/4 (2 for me, maybe 2 for Heart to be shipped or something)
Well, good luck on that, and hope you find something good and affordable!

09-13-2008, 23:33:27
Oy, i can't count on my mom. :| i'm back from the wedding. it was fun i guess. i'm not sure what i'm going to do. all i need is an editorial evaluation. then they will put it on the shelves. but i'm not sure where to get one in bako.

09-13-2008, 23:40:00
I wIlL dOnAtE mOnEy.

Actually, I can't now. I gave most of it to my mom for her bills. I thought I owed her that much.

But if I had money I would.

09-13-2008, 23:51:46
i know i know but you don't HAVE to donate money. besides, i found out a way that i could make this somewhat cheaper. if you just get an editorial evaluation and an ISBN registration then it's only $350 dollars, which is considerably cheaper.

if you really want to donate money you can, i'm just saying that you don't have to.

09-14-2008, 00:57:23
I could give you an editorial evaluation, ^_^
I'm not saying it'd be professional or anything, but I'm good like that, and I'm like able to do it fast and free, lol.

Sorry tho, but I'm too broke to donate moneys... :(

09-14-2008, 01:00:51
hahaha. i would TOTALY take it, but i think it has to be professional...i think...hmmmmm....

and like i said, you guys don't have to donate money. i think i will be able to handle it if i did something like wash cars or something.

09-14-2008, 01:24:30
Haha, well, in THAT case, I could help you wash cars, :P :haha:

Hmmm... I don't know if it HAS to be professional, but it looks good if it says on the inside cover of your book "Edited and Evaluated by Suncrest Interprises" (I just made that up, but they say stuff like that) I have seen books that don't have that (Like "Eragon" By Christopher Paolini, he puts in the Authors Notes his Mom or someone helped him edit it)
But, if you want me to, I could like fix spelling/grammar and such.

09-14-2008, 01:27:17
hahaha. you should. :P it'd be faster with two people.

i dunno. if you want to. i wonder if it would be cheaper just to send it to a publishing agency. :?

09-14-2008, 01:43:01
:haha: Yep... I could see it now... "Later Mom!!! Going to wash cars with a girl I met over the internet" :P :haha:

IDK, it's your call whatever you want to do tho.

09-14-2008, 01:44:39
:haha::haha: yeah, imagine me telling MY mom that! "bye mom i'm going to wash cars with that guy i met off the internet!" she would probably kill me! :P

i'll have to look it up.

09-14-2008, 01:47:06
That is EXACTLY what I was thinking, :P
"WHAATTTT??? You better get your butt right back in this house mister!!!" :haha::rofl-smilie:

Well, whatever you do, you should do it quick, so I can have a copy, :P

09-14-2008, 01:50:27
you'll have to pay me for that copy! :P hahaha. jk.

i'm going to watch a movie with my family. be on in like two hours! :D

09-14-2008, 02:16:29
Well, don't worry, I will pay :P ;)

Hope it's a good one!!!

09-14-2008, 03:16:04
hahaha. :P if you insist. i won't stop you. :haha:

we didn't get to watch the movie cause my sister got called into work. dang.

09-14-2008, 03:23:05
Of course I'm going to BUY it, how else are you supposed to make that $350 back that you might have to pay???

Hmmm... I'm sorry, what movie were you going to see?

09-14-2008, 03:25:32
hahahaha. good point. :P

it's called Tortured. i wanted to watch it but my sister wouldn't hear of it.

soo i was thinking that my next book is going to be Damien's point of view. what do you think?

09-14-2008, 03:42:10
Hmmm... like, the whole book, or like alternating chapters or something?

IDK, it sounds good to me, but I'd like more backstory, :D


and fore-story :D ...


09-14-2008, 03:44:12
i dunno. i might just add things in there that weren't in the first one. i think i should have done it from his p.o.v. in the first place. would have been much more interesting if you ask me. *thinks about this while listening to really loud music*

09-14-2008, 04:22:26
hahahaha. good point. :P

it's called Tortured. i wanted to watch it but my sister wouldn't hear of it.

soo i was thinking that my next book is going to be Damien's point of view. what do you think?


Edit: Also maybe the story before he met rose / they broke up and his story after? :?

09-14-2008, 04:23:32
hahaha. okay. i was going to anyways, even if you guys didn't want to read it. :D

09-14-2008, 04:25:43
Lovely - Well frankly I would love to hear it from Damien's P.O.V :happydancing:

09-14-2008, 04:26:56
hahaha. i already started. halfway through chapter one. :P i have to almost copy some things from the other one! it's going to take a lot longer.

09-14-2008, 04:29:13
Lovely - :happydancing: YAY!!! I want to read chapter one badly now :D
(This time don't be afraid to stretch the story out too ;) Sometimes you rushed through the chapters in the last one :P)

09-14-2008, 04:30:28
hahahaha. okay, i'll make the chapters looooooooooooonger. :D:haha:

09-14-2008, 04:31:52
Lovely - :happydancing: *Waits impatiently for the first chapter* :happydancing:

09-14-2008, 04:32:03
can i buy your book?
where in the book section?
still looking for a title?
I love books!
can i be one of your big fans?

09-14-2008, 04:33:19
it's not published yet, but it's in this thread.
no, i found one. :D
yes you can be one of my fans. :P

09-14-2008, 04:34:05
Lovely - You found a title?! :o!

09-14-2008, 04:34:31
whats it called in where in this thread *starts searching*

09-14-2008, 04:35:30
it's on like the third page i think. the first chapter.

it's going to be called The Blood Parade (cause it sounds so cool :P)

09-14-2008, 04:39:16
LOL, I thought the same thing at the end...

They don't necessarilly need to be longer, but you missed details that you wouldn't have missed there at the end... http://justeazygames.webs.com/shiftyeyes.gif

09-14-2008, 04:39:38
umm how mny chapters?
I looked on the 3 page how do you get to the book section

09-14-2008, 04:40:20
there are 28. this is the book section. :P

09-14-2008, 04:40:23
Ooh, picked a good one, :P (title)
@Isaiah: The chapters are intersparsed throughout this thread, lol

09-14-2008, 04:41:45

09-14-2008, 04:42:21
welcome. :)

09-14-2008, 04:45:52
@ Undead:

I just got one thing to say...


Lol, don't mean to be... mean, but I cannot wait, :happydancing::Dhttp://justeazygames.webs.com/shiftyeyes.gif

~GH Dog~
09-14-2008, 04:46:38
that was good

09-14-2008, 04:49:15
*Jumps beside Justeazy and agrees with what he says*

Sorry but I am feeling rather impatient tonight :haha: :happydancing:

09-14-2008, 04:56:54
*Jumps beside Justeazy and agrees with what he says*

Sorry but I am feeling rather impatient tonight :haha: :happydancing:

*Starts dancing with Heart in unison of anticipation! http://justeazygames.webs.com/shiftyeyes.gif


09-14-2008, 04:57:27
Justeazy- :o! :mhmh: I wasn't dancing THAT much :shy:

09-14-2008, 05:00:48
@Heart: I already deleted those....
Everytime I hit "edit" To align the dancing, it would make it a new post and I didn't realize it at first...

09-14-2008, 05:01:19
Justeazy - Oh :S *Deletes the now double posted message*

09-14-2008, 05:03:41
How bout now heart???

I edited it to take out half of the "dancing" lol http://justeazygames.webs.com/shiftyeyes.gif

~GH Dog~
09-14-2008, 05:05:04
that was so good i want to read all the chapters

09-14-2008, 05:07:17
Justeazy- Well I was dancing more then that... :rofl-smilie: Just kidding :P

09-14-2008, 05:07:17
e7, just go to the third page, and then keep clicking "next page" because all of the chapters are mixed in with mine/hearts posts in this forum!

@Heart... Well, you complained as "too much" with 2, now it's not enough with 1...
*contemplates making that over again just with 1/2 a smiley in each frame* :rofl-smilie:

09-14-2008, 05:09:57
Justeazy- What can I say :haha: Vampires are picky :P

09-14-2008, 05:10:36
Ooh, yeah, while were waiting, I just posted in your "coffin" again, :haha:

09-14-2008, 05:13:30
Justeazy - :hmm: I need to keep that coffin door closed more :haha:

Wha!?! Are you "The_Symbol_Man" *Suspicious eyes*

So what do you think about the background music :rofl-smilie:

09-14-2008, 05:16:20
Its a little rushed at the end but awsome
took a whil cause i got distracted befor i read it :S
so long going to read it tomorrow
by the way i have a red juke
the girl in the book has a juk to right

09-14-2008, 05:20:03
http://justeazygames.webs.com/shiftyeyes.gif Yes, I am The Symbol Man http://justeazygames.webs.com/shiftyeyes.gif

(BTW, The shifty eyes are from my site: [ img ] http://justeazygames.webs.com/shiftyeyes.gif[ /img ])

~GH Dog~
09-14-2008, 05:21:13
you mean chapter

09-14-2008, 05:21:59
wow a 2 chapter book cool

~GH Dog~
09-14-2008, 05:24:52
I have a navy juke too

09-14-2008, 05:24:53
OMG i forgot to put in that he asked her to a movie. HOW COULD I HAVE MISSED IT?!?!?!

*goes to edit chapter*

09-14-2008, 05:26:10
Lovely- Wooooooooo first chapter :happydancing:

09-14-2008, 05:26:59
OMG, GREAT... It ties in with the first book well

@Isaiah: It's not 2 chapters, it's 28 chapters. This is the second book in the series!
You not supposed to read this until you finish the first.

Don't post next one yet plz (even though I want it) kuz I'm going to PM you questions regarding something about this

09-14-2008, 05:31:02
Lovely - So uhh chapter 2 comes out tonight or tomorrow :? :happydancing:

09-14-2008, 05:32:53
i don't know yet. when it comes out i guess. it takes a while to copy the text, then i tried copy and paste and that's slow too. so it's going to take a lot longer to type this one. :( so if you want to go to bed i suggest you do it.

09-14-2008, 05:33:43
Lovely - I don't understand :?

Do you want me to copy all the chapters and merge them together into a world file and send em to you in an email :?

09-14-2008, 05:35:27
no no i have them in a word file. the whole thing was written in microsoft word. weren't you wondering how i came up with the first seventeen chapters so fast?? :haha:

i have to copy the things i wrote. it takes a while.

09-14-2008, 05:37:52
Lovely - Ooooh! Okay I get it now :P

09-14-2008, 05:38:04
@Undead: PM, It is long, but it is IMPORTANT (at least to me, :P)

I already have all chapters of first book in one big file labeled "Undead's book version 1: Unedited" (I still gotta add the title, The Blood Parade)