PDA

View Full Version : A new book



Clank
09-19-2008, 18:22:42
Hi like fellow gamershooders i too have decided to write a story, this time however the full story will have been written and a new chapter will be revealed whenever i have time

I must tell you now where i live this story has been entered for a national young writers prize and is through to the county finals, so any copyright will be forbidden. Here is the first chapter, the story is entitled the phantoms. It is only a short story so don't expect pages and pages

Readers are free to post their opininions in this post so feel free

COPYRIGHT 2008

The Phantoms

Chapter 1

It burned like paper being sizzled by flames, like oil smouldering away, like charcoal aflame in the heart of a rickety, furnace, like cinders blowing along the plains of a desolate desert.

It ripped through the walls like a bomb would rip through the streets of London. It roared into the glimmering, moonlit sky, like a lion would roar at a violent hunter. It climbed its way up the bricks of the narrow terraces, onto the rooftops, down the streetlamps. It crawled down the drains and into the sewers; down the bleak tunnels and into the mountains of raw sewage. Gently, it moved through the air with the grace of an Ice skater. It covered the houses, the gardens, the ridged fences and the cobbled paths; along with the thick, oily windows of the cars. Sporadically it would tremble and bubble and viciously snarl onto the countless acres of countryside. It would ride on the roads like a jovial horse searching the clandestine and secluded forests, searching for prey. It would leap over the barriers like a magnificent stallion at a gymkhana.

The splendour shrubs along the roadside would be engulfed in its destroying and harrowing path.

The echoes of its moans and groans would halt whenever a stop sign would appear on the road.

The seas would be flooded by its presence and the ships would be captured by its magnificent and smooth layers; and the masts would be lifted and shudders would run up the soft, deep fibres within the cloth. It embraced the size of cities into one deep, colossal blow.

:scared-couch:

Clank
09-19-2008, 19:17:26
Heres the next part of my story:


Chapter 2

What could be causing all this? You may ask, I know, trust me, and let me tell you your in for a journey. I can only rely on you?

A virus, a pandemic, a lethal, violent disease, a force of terror. With it, it brought misery and suffering and pain…


It was known as the Ebony virus.

It began in 2008, when a solar eclipse was cast upon the Earth, a man, Drew Ebony thought he had invented a cure, a cure for cancer; he called it the ‘ebony answer’. but when people lined up like ants awaiting their vaccination, peoples shadows changed, they altered, they slowly became distorted, their bodies and brains, like mindless, carnivorous zombies. Everyone began to wander the streets, no face, no emotion. I hid in my house, I was scared what was I to do? Especially in the sun…

When the vaccination hit the media it was like a miracle, Drew Ebony was a saviour, everyone obeyed him, Every town started to build huge, monumental statues of him, like he was God. Yet no-one saw through him, he didn’t care, except me, I knew the real him, the liar, the cheat, he was selfish and had one thing in mind, money, tons of money.

I cant say I didn’t take my kids to get the cure, I had them lined up all night, I made them stand for hours and hours, I blame myself… if only I knew… then they wouldn’t be dead.

After a couple of months, people got scared, I was scared, it was like an alien invasion, my kids began to stop playing and used to stare at the tv, I watched them for weeks, it was horrible, a pandemic so evil it made people suffer, it drained their lives.

:scared-couch:

Clank
09-19-2008, 21:03:26
Chapter 3

What was I to do? Where should I go?

There I was sitting in the old, coffee stained chair, my kids had gone, me, alone, all alone. The windows had metal shutters over them, It was 6 months after the cure was discovered and the shadows were out there, only in the sunlight, only when the shadows appear, only when the sky is blue the phantoms appear; they come out and hunt!

Often when I was hiding I had thoughts about what would happen if I went out under the sun, would I die? Would they massacre me? What were they? I knew if I had any chance of survival I would have to go out at night and search for food, search for my life.

I had to.

It was the only means of survival.

Living in a luxurious town house wasn’t hard, it was exciting, tantalising to be precise, I had dreams of what my life would be like when I was younger and this was it. It was perfect. With my job the house was extravagant, it had a beautiful marble floor and a huge fire in the middle of the room, we used to sit on the whit, leather sofa and look at the blazing flames. Thinking about it gave me a tingling sensation in my stomach. I liked that, it made me feel confident.

I ran my finger up and down the coffee stained arm and scratched the large tear in the fabric, I stared at the rips in my blue jeans and nodded my head backwards and forwards. The dry taste in my mouth made me croak when I coughed. When I licked my lips I felt the several cuts on the bottom lip.

The continuous bangs on the shutters made me jump and tremble, the shudders running up and down my back, like dogs at the track, made me shake. It was hard being here alone, you started to feel depressed; it got you down.

Clank
09-19-2008, 21:51:38
Chapter 4 of the phantoms will be posted tomorrow of a UK time of 2.00pm

LovelyUndeadVam
09-19-2008, 23:14:07
WOW geordie! these are really really good! :D i read the three chapters and now i'm all "awwww what about the fourth?" :haha:

Clank
09-20-2008, 08:28:17
Thanks luv- im glad you like it the fourth chapter will be coming very very soon

Clank
09-20-2008, 09:01:43
Heres the next part

Chapter 4

Was I being killed slowly inside? Why was I the only one… on Earth to survive? Was I the only one?

I was a captive. I was in captivity. It turned to night on that day of Winter in December of 2008, I heard the vigorous gales swiping the trees in the garden. I had to go out. I needed food. Nothing could stop me, I was prepared. I pulled back the metal gates that lay against the double door; vigilance kept me sane as I hobbled down the steps. The ground was covered in shimmering ice, I had to be careful. It was a beautiful night, the moon captivated the sky; it was silent, not a sound, not a whisper, not a tremor of hope. The shadows were ruling the world someone had to stop them. When I got past the park I saw a large house, it was strange I’d never uncovered on my past encounters of the night, so I strolled over to it and gently pushed the gate open; it creaked painfully when it bumped in the post box. The door was open like every other house, the door was always open. It was dark in the corridor, so dim, I always had to watch my step. I made my way to the kitchen and took out the torch that sat in my pocket. I opened the cupboard door and saw: a large jar of cod liver oil, a peculiar cockroach, a bag of plain flour and 2 tins of baked beans. What a feast? As I ravaged my way through the drawers looking for a tin opener, I heard s******s coming from the floor boards, it was like heavy gasps.

Emo234
09-20-2008, 17:22:51
Wow this is really good!!!!!!!!!!! Can't wait for chapter 5.U know tho it reminds me alot of the movie I am ledgend,lol.But really good :D

LovelyUndeadVam
09-20-2008, 17:37:00
WOO! :haha: i already read the fourth. :D and it was really good. and now i'm going to pull a heart on you. :P

PLEASE POST THE NEXT CHAPTER. :D

Clank
09-20-2008, 17:52:47
Upon request here is chapter 5

What was I supposed to do? Should I run?

Staring anxiously at the floorboards, millions of thoughts staggered into my head. I needed to look under them. I pulled back the rug and saw a hook and a chain and realised it was a trap door!

I opened it up and saw a little girl…

She was sat there with a huge grin on her face, she was shaking vigorously, what was I meant to do? I pulled her out when she offered me her hand and hoisted her over my shoulder.

Back at my house I lay her on the couch and fetched her a cup of boiled water and lemon drops. I sat in the chair opposite and she hugged the teddy bear she was holding, I was scared, absolutely terrified, and so was she. She had on her a large pink dressing gown, which was covered in muck, she also had large bruises covering her legs; the result of being devoured by the floorboards. We both sat there staring at each other like nothing had happened, like we knew each other. I snatched a thick cotton blanket from my sons room upstairs and put it over her back. It was freezing. I turned the lamp up a bit, it was wind up powered so I knew it would never run out of battery. I reached for the switch when suddenly the girl uttered a word- ‘phantoms’.

~GH Dog~
09-20-2008, 18:00:10
that was good


please post the 6th

LovelyUndeadVam
09-20-2008, 18:18:56
i'm with e7. :) this is getting good. *goes to write in her own book to help with the wait*

Justeazy
09-20-2008, 18:34:22
Hmmm, pretty good story!
It's... interesting ;)

Clank
09-20-2008, 19:17:08
Thanks to all of you:

e7ga123
Emo234
Justeazy
Lovelyundeadvam

Clank
09-20-2008, 21:53:56
Chapter 6 of the story is where verything is revealed what do all of you readers think will happen next

LovelyUndeadVam
09-20-2008, 22:00:41
hmmm. i don't know. i think that maybe the little girl is going to have some type of story to tell the woman.

Emo234
09-21-2008, 02:00:42
OOOOO chills with the last word -phantoms- ok that was great 6 plz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~GH Dog~
09-21-2008, 06:03:10
cant wait

EscapeGirl
09-21-2008, 08:47:25
Great story Geordiboy. Looking forward to the next chapter. ;) I have a feeling he's gonna hear from the girl what happened...who they are....And I'm anxious to know. :D

Clank
09-21-2008, 08:52:39
Heres chapter 6

“What? What did you say”.
“Phantoms. Phantoms. Phantoms”, the girl s******ed.
I turned and looked into the mirror, and there was a man staring at me in the reflection.
“Oh my god, what is that?”, I turned and looked at the girl, “Who is he, whats he doing here”.
“He’s here, and he’s coming for you, he’s gonna get you”.
I tore the girl from the sofa and fled down the hallway into the dining room, I turned out the light, the shadows weren’t there in the lights.
“How did they get in the house!?”. I grabbed a golf club that was conveniently, sitting, in the corner.
“Its no use trying to run, you’ll make them angry, and if you make them angry, they will kill you”, the little girl muttered.
“Who is he?”
“He’s here”.

I felt my breath curdle up on my face. I felt him there. I closed my eyes. And when I opened them…

I was outside on the town, in the daylight, people were here, thousands of people protesting. There was a man on a podium. Everyone shouting “What about us? What about us?” It was then. I realised why I was alive and not dead like the rest of us. Because I was immune, because my blood was immune.

“It’s me your after isn’t it”, I whispered. “ You want my blood, you want a cure”.

EscapeGirl
09-21-2008, 08:55:49
Ooh! It's great, Geordieboy! :appl: That was an unexpected twist! ;)

LovelyUndeadVam
09-21-2008, 09:00:15
oooo. i liked that one. the little girl must have been locked up too long. :P

Justeazy
09-21-2008, 09:01:56
Ooh... interesting...

*Wonders why he was scared of his reflection...
or IF that was his reflection...*

WAIT, is the main character a HIM or a HER?

Clank
09-21-2008, 09:03:56
It is supposed to be a him, but everyone thinks its a her and thanks Justeazy,



The reflection bit shall be revealed

Justeazy
09-21-2008, 09:05:02
Lol, thank you for clearing that up... I was confuzzled by that...

*Hmmm.. goes to ponder the wonders of the shadows and the mirror...*

Clank
09-21-2008, 09:17:24
There are only 10 chapters in the story so if anyone wants to request a longer 2nd book that would be great

EscapeGirl
09-21-2008, 09:19:40
Do you really think we would NOT want a 2nd book!?!?! :o ;) :D:D:D

Clank
09-21-2008, 09:23:44
Thanks escape when the first story has finished let me know new ideas and i will get writing

Clank
09-21-2008, 10:32:53
Heres chapter 7 of The Phantoms

The man was there, I knew he was, I couldn’t see him but I felt his presence, He wanted my blood, he wanted a cure.

“You know don’t you”, the girl said.
“Yeah, I am the cure”.
“Of course, he wants you, your going to die because he wants to live, he wants to rule, he going to get you and your going to die”.
“What is your name?”.
“It’s Ebony”, she answered.

Suddenly! Out of nowhere the boxes in the corner tumbled to the ground and the bangs on the windows started again, it was daylight and I forgot to lock the door.

“Oh no!”

The daylight poured in through the cracks in the walls and the bangs started, all day they would continue. They were out there and they wanted to be in.

I scurried to the door and pulled back the latch to seal it shut. I ran in the living room and turned off all the lights, I was in complete darkness. The shudders ran up my spine and severed each nerve as they fled up and down it. I was horrified. I clambered my way down the hallway back to the girl, she had answers.

Out of nowhere the radio turned on and at full volume this song played.

“The Phantoms will get you, there going to get you, they’re gonna get you in the night, they’re gonna kill you, they’re gonna kill you and your going to die”, the radios voice boomed into the whole house.

I stood still. I froze. I closed my eyes. My heart and my pulse accelerated at a tremendous speed. The girl was in sight and she was smiling

LovelyUndeadVam
09-21-2008, 10:37:24
woooo. creepy. :P that little girl is giving me goosebumps!!

EscapeGirl
09-21-2008, 10:39:01
So eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrie!!! :o The radio part, and the part where the girl is just sitting there smiling! :o And her name! :hmm: Another nice twist!

Clank
09-21-2008, 10:41:31
Thanks LUV and Escape glad you like it again, this was my favourite chapter

Chocbubbles
09-21-2008, 10:44:29
that little girl is CREEEEPY!!! :o she's always smiling :scared-couch:

nice story geordieboy :)

*sits down and stares at computer screen, not moving until next chapter is up*

Clank
09-21-2008, 13:27:22
Here is chapter 8...

Who is that girl? Why is she smiling?

I paced heavily down the corridor, I was furious.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Ebony and I’m here to kill you”.
“You! But Why?”
“Because I am their leader, I have to lead the phantoms into the light, I am going to rule. And when I do that I shall rule the world, you are the last of them, and I am the beginning of the new. I came to this Earth looking for ways to rule, so I invented the virus, I am Ebony!”
The girl transformed into the man I saw in the reflection. It was Drew Ebony.
“Oh my god”.

I stepped back. Breathing vigorously, I didn’t know what to do, I grabbed the golf club from earlier and started smashing at the man, but it went straight through him, through his black jacket and striped white shirt. I hit him as hard as I could. Swinging the bat with all my might. I had no hope. I was lost. He snatched the golf club off of me and smashed me across the head with it on the base of my skull. I fell to the floor like a pin drifting from a table. He was a phantom.

“You just don’t know where to stop, do you?” he boomed. “You just don’t know when to give up. I want your blood”.

I lay on my side facing the wall, I could hear him, but it was like I was asleep, like I was in a dream. The last thing I heard was the radio and that word ‘phantoms’.

Clank
09-21-2008, 13:28:30
Here is chapter 9...

The next thing I knew I woke up lying on the couch, it was daylight, there weren’t any shutters on the windows, the fire was blazing. I stood up and my feet touched the cold marble flooring. I sped towards the door frantically, opening up I was at the protest, where the man was on the podium speaking. Everyone was shouting- “What about us? What about us?”. I heard an anonymous man in the crowd say- “Why can’t we get the cure, Why?”.

The man on the podium beamed through his microphone:
“All of you must report to the execution docks immediately, you are the immune, you are unlike the rest of us. You must all report to the execution docks immediately. Everyone here will be dead by midnight.”

Everyone in the crowd gasped.
“Drew Ebony you…. You can’t do this, Nooooo!”

So that was it. Drew Ebony wanted to kill everyone and rule the world. Everyone obeyed him, except the immune and I was an immune, so he came back for me.

I sped back in the house.

“Where are you? You…” “You evil piece of …” “Please! Stop.”

I scampered up the stairs and pulled out an injection needle from my wifes medical kit before she passed away. I plunged it into my arm and it sunk into my skin. The blood poured into the nozzle.

“You want this you… then come and get it!”

Clank
09-21-2008, 15:45:01
the next chapter is the final chapter, so if anyone wants me to write a longer second story would you:

-Post a message on this thread
-Pm me
-Post a visitor message
-Email me

In Chapter 10, you find out how it all ends however if i get some requests i will write a new story.

Also how does everyone think it will end

Heartofthedark
09-21-2008, 16:06:55
I would like to read the final chapter :)

Clank
09-21-2008, 16:12:41
Thanks Heartofthedark

What did you think of it so far

Emo234
09-21-2008, 17:09:26
@chapter6-The girl is mysterious

@chapter7-Ok now she is friggin crazy nd creepy,nd the radio ooooo chills

@chapter8-ahhhhh that makes sense.I luved this part “I’m Ebony and I’m here to kill you”.
“You! But Why?”
“Because I am their leader, I have to lead the phantoms into the light, I am going to rule.That was my fav part

@chapter9-OMG those poor ppl,he needs to die lol

Ok so this is a really good story,alot like,but then different form I am ledgend which I find very cool/interesting!!!!!!! Keep up the good work

Clank
09-21-2008, 17:11:34
Thanks woahhhhh! Really thanks

will definitely be writing another story but chapter 10 might be on its way today

Emo234
09-21-2008, 17:13:19
OOOOOOO I hope so plz This story is amazing,funny thing is I hate reading,but this is so good I can't stop reading lol,u have me hooked

Isaiah
09-21-2008, 17:25:42
Hey i now have to catch up with 2 books dang!

Clank
09-21-2008, 17:27:20
Heres the final chapter, chapter 10

I ran up the stairs and out of the window where the crowds of people were. I bellowed out.

“He wants our blood!”
“He wants our blood!”.

“Run, if you run he can’t get you”
“You have got to run before he can kill you or we all die”.

Everyone started to gather and after a moment people started running it was working. If they survive then the planet will.

Suddenly the little girl appeared, floating in the doorway.

“You think you can stop me, your wrong. I am Ebony and I am going to kill you and you’re going to die. I am going to kill you and your gonna die”.

She stepped forward with her hands out she grabbed my wrist. I tugged at her. She fell back.

“I will lead the phantoms into the light, I will rule and you will die, I will kill those who stand in my way, remember this”.

I ran forward into her and plunged the syringe into her heart.

“Whaaaa! Nooooo”

She turned into a human.

“Got ya!!!”

~GH Dog~
09-21-2008, 17:29:31
I dont get it

Emo234
09-21-2008, 17:32:45
Ok pretty good ending all in all that was a really realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll lyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggoooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddddddddddddddd ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd book :D

~GH Dog~
09-21-2008, 17:33:30
dont get the got ya part

Emo234
09-21-2008, 17:34:44
Did u read chapter 9 it explains itself in there

Justeazy
09-21-2008, 18:02:41
Pretty good!!!
Question about a couple of things...


I stood still. I froze. I closed my eyes. My heart and my pulse accelerated at a tremendous speed. The girl was in sight and she was smiling

How was she "is sight" if his eyes are closed?


...I grabbed the golf club from earlier and started smashing at the man, but it went straight through him, through his black jacket and striped white shirt. I hit him as hard as I could. Swinging the bat with all my might....

Why does it switch from golf club to a bat?

Clank
09-21-2008, 18:04:33
Sorry Justeazy will correct them when i post the full story but here is an alternate ending.

I appeared back in the darkness on the floor facing the wall with a huge migrane, however I still got up. I knew Drew was here, I didn’t know where. Luckily I had the syringe grasped tightly in my hand.

“Come out. Come out wherever you are.”

I was hunting him now. If he wants my blood I’ll have to give it to him. Then when he is human I can kill him. I looked in the mirror he wasn’t in it. I turned round the corner into the kitchen.

“Look who’s playing hide and seek, you know when I find you, you’re the one who is going to die”

When I turned into the dining room the little girl was there.

“ Please don’t hurt me. It’s not my fault. I didn’t mean to hurt anybody, I was only playing”.

I ran at her and stabbed her with the needle straight into the core of her heart. Her blond curls weren’t fooling me. I knelt over her.

“ You think you can kill me that easily. Your going to die. I will lead the phantoms into the light. I will destroy you. The last of them. Then all I need is your blood to turn into a human. But only after your dead!”.

She pushed me back and I slammed against the wall.

“ he he he. I am going to kill you. You’re going to die. I’m want your blood. I am Ebony and I’m going to kill you”.

I got up and ran at her, going straight through her.

“You are nothing but a mere mortal. I’m going to use your blood to be king, I need you dead first”.

I got up and threw the lamp at her. She didn’t flinch. I had an idea. I ran to the shutters outside, opened the latch and disappeared into the daylight.

Millions of black phantoms were roaming running, like they were scared. That’s when I realised they weren’t after me. They wanted me.

“So you finally found out the secret, well I will rule these phantoms, not you”.

I was standing in the middle of the plaza. The phantoms were running round and round. It was nice, I felt that nice tingling sensation inside. Ebony had gone and she wasn’t coming back…

Justeazy
09-21-2008, 18:08:29
Hmmm... BOTH of the endings are interesting, haha, still don't COMPLETELY understand it all, :P

Emo234
09-21-2008, 18:10:49
Ummm......did he kill her/him? I am a lil confused,but I liked this better :D

It was stronger like the rest of the story;)

Clank
09-21-2008, 18:16:02
Well Drew IS the girl

Heres the story in two halves

Clank
09-21-2008, 18:17:01
The Phantoms

It burned like paper being sizzled by flames, like oil smouldering away, like charcoal aflame in the heart of a rickety, furnace, like cinders blowing along the plains of a desolate desert.

It ripped through the walls like a bomb would rip through the streets of London. It roared into the glimmering, moonlit sky, like a lion would roar at a violent hunter. It climbed its way up the bricks of the narrow terraces, onto the rooftops, down the streetlamps. It crawled down the drains and into the sewers; down the bleak tunnels and into the mountains of raw sewage. Gently, it moved through the air with the grace of an Ice skater. It covered the houses, the gardens, the ridged fences and the cobbled paths; along with the thick, oily windows of the cars. Sporadically it would tremble and bubble and viciously snarl onto the countless acres of countryside. It would ride on the roads like a jovial horse searching the clandestine and secluded forests, searching for prey. It would leap over the barriers like a magnificent stallion at a gymkhana.

The splendour shrubs along the roadside would be engulfed in its destroying and harrowing path.

The echoes of its moans and groans would halt whenever a stop sign would appear on the road.

The seas would be flooded by its presence and the ships would be captured by its magnificent and smooth layers; and the masts would be lifted and shudders would run up the soft, deep fibres within the cloth. It embraced the size of cities into one deep, colossal blow.


What could be causing all this? You may ask, I know, trust me, and let me tell you your in for a journey. I can only rely on you?

A virus, a pandemic, a lethal, violent disease, a force of terror. With it, it brought misery and suffering and pain…


It was known as the Ebony virus.

It began in 2008, when a solar eclipse was cast upon the Earth, a man, Drew Ebony thought he had invented a cure, a cure for cancer; he called it the ‘ebony answer’. but when people lined up like ants awaiting their vaccination, peoples shadows changed, they altered, they slowly became distorted, their bodies and brains, like mindless, carnivorous zombies. Everyone began to wander the streets, no face, no emotion. I hid in my house, I was scared what was I to do? Especially in the sun…

When the vaccination hit the media it was like a miracle, Drew Ebony was a saviour, everyone obeyed him, Every town started to build huge, monumental statues of him, like he was God. Yet no-one saw through him, he didn’t care, except me, I knew the real him, the liar, the cheat, he was selfish and had one thing in mind, money, tons of money.

I cant say I didn’t take my kids to get the cure, I had them lined up all night, I made them stand for hours and hours, I blame myself… if only I knew… then they wouldn’t be dead.

After a couple of months, people got scared, I was scared, it was like an alien invasion, my kids began to stop playing and used to stare at the tv, I watched them for weeks, it was horrible, a pandemic so evil it made people suffer, it drained their lives.

What was I to do? Where should I go?

There I was sitting in the old, coffee stained chair, my kids had gone, me, alone, all alone. The windows had metal shutters over them, It was 6 months after the cure was discovered and the shadows were out there, only in the sunlight, only when the shadows appear, only when the sky is blue the phantoms appear; they come out and hunt!

Often when I was hiding I had thoughts about what would happen if I went out under the sun, would I die? Would they massacre me? What were they? I knew if I had any chance of survival I would have to go out at night and search for food, search for my life.

I had to.

It was the only means of survival.

Living in a luxurious town house wasn’t hard, it was exciting, tantalising to be precise, I had dreams of what my life would be like when I was younger and this was it. It was perfect. With my job the house was extravagant, it had a beautiful marble floor and a huge fire in the middle of the room, we used to sit on the white, leather sofa and look at the blazing flames. Thinking about it gave me a tingling sensation in my stomach. I liked that, it made me feel confident.

I ran my finger up and down the coffee stained arm and scratched the large tear in the fabric, I stared at the rips in my blue jeans and nodded my head backwards and forwards. The dry taste in my mouth made me croak when I coughed. When I licked my lips I felt the several cuts on the bottom lip.

The continuous bangs on the shutters made me jump and tremble, the shudders running up and down my back, like dogs at the track, made me shake. It was hard being here alone, you started to feel depressed; it got you down.

Was I being killed slowly inside? Why was I the only one… on Earth to survive? Was I the only one?

I was a captive. I was in captivity. It turned to night on that day of Winter in December of 2008, I heard the vigorous gales swiping the trees in the garden. I had to go out. I needed food. I felt ready, I felt powerful. Nothing could stop me, I was prepared. I pulled back the metal gates that lay against the double door; vigilance kept me sane as I hobbled down the steps. The ground was covered in shimmering ice, I had to be careful. It was a beautiful night, the moon captivated the sky; it was silent, not a sound, not a whisper, not a tremor of hope. The shadows were ruling the world someone had to stop them. When I got past the park I saw a large house, it was strange I’d never uncovered on my past encounters of the night, so I strolled over to it and gently pushed the gate open; it creaked painfully when it bumped in the post box. The door was open like every other house, the door was always open. It was dark in the corridor, so dim, I always had to watch my step. I made my way to the kitchen and took out the torch that sat in my pocket. I opened the cupboard door and saw: a large jar of cod liver oil, a peculiar cockroach, a bag of plain flour and 2 tins of baked beans. What a feast? As I ravaged my way through the drawers looking for a tin opener, I heard s******s coming from the floor boards, it was like heavy gasps.

What was I supposed to do? Should I run?

Staring anxiously at the floorboards, millions of thoughts staggered into my head. I needed to look under them. I pulled back the rug and saw a hook and a chain and realised it was a trap door!

I opened it up and saw a little girl…

She was sat there with a huge grin on her face, she was shaking vigorously, what was I meant to do? I pulled her out when she offered me her hand and hoisted her over my shoulder.

Back at my house I lay her on the couch and fetched her a cup of boiled water and lemon drops. I sat in the chair opposite and she hugged the teddy bear she was holding, I was scared, absolutely terrified, and so was she. She had on her a large pink dressing gown, which was covered in muck, she also had large bruises covering her legs; the result of being devoured by the floorboards. We both sat there staring at each other like nothing had happened, like we knew each other. I snatched a thick cotton blanket from my sons room upstairs and put it over her back. It was freezing. I turned the lamp up a bit, it was wind up powered so I knew it would never run out of battery. I reached for the switch when suddenly the girl uttered a word- ‘phantoms’.



“What? What did you say”.
“Phantoms. Phantoms. Phantoms”, the girl s******ed.
I turned and looked into the mirror, and there was a man staring at me in the reflection.
“Oh my god, what is that?”, I turned and looked at the girl, “Who is he, whats he doing here”.
“He’s here, and he’s coming for you, he’s gonna get you”.
I tore the girl from the sofa and fled down the hallway into the dining room, I turned out the light, the shadows weren’t there in the lights.
“How did they get in the house!?”. I grabbed a golf club that was conveniently, sitting, in the corner.
“Its no use trying to run, you’ll make them angry, and if you make them angry, they will kill you”, the little girl muttered.
“Who is he?”
“He’s here”.

I felt my breath curdle up on my face. I felt him there. I closed my eyes. And when I opened them…

I was outside on the town, in the daylight, people were here, thousands of people protesting. There was a man on a podium. Everyone shouting “What about us? What about us?” It was then. I realised why I was alive and not dead like the rest of us. Because I was immune, because my blood was immune.

“It’s me your after isn’t it”, I whispered. “ You want my blood, you want a cure”.

The man was there, I knew he was, I couldn’t see him but I felt his presence, He wanted my blood, he wanted a cure.

“You know don’t you”, the girl said.
“Yeah, I am the cure”.
“Of course, he wants you, your going to die because he wants to live, he wants to rule, he going to get you and your going to die”.
“What is your name?”.
“It’s Ebony”, she answered.

Clank
09-21-2008, 18:18:00
Suddenly! Out of nowhere the boxes in the corner tumbled to the ground and the bangs on the windows started again, it was daylight and I forgot to lock the door.

“Oh no!”

The daylight poured in through the cracks in the walls and the bangs started, all day they would continue. They were out there and they wanted to be in.

I scurried to the door and pulled back the latch to seal it shut. I ran in the living room and turned off all the lights, I was in complete darkness. The shudders ran up my spine and severed each nerve as they fled up and down it. I was horrified; I clambered my way down the hallway back to the girl, she had answers.

Out of nowhere the radio turned on and at full volume this song played.

“The Phantoms will get you, there going to get you, they’re gonna get you in the night, they’re gonna kill you, they’re gonna kill you and your going to die”, the radios voice boomed into the whole house.

I stood still. I froze. My heart and my pulse accelerated at a tremendous speed. The girl was in sight and she was smiling.

Who is that girl? Why is she smiling?

I paced heavily down the corridor, I was furious.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Ebony and I’m here to kill you”.
“You! But Why?”
“Because I am their leader, I have to lead the phantoms into the light, I am going to rule. And when I do that I shall rule the world, you are the last of them, and I am the beginning of the new. I came to this Earth looking for ways to rule, so I invented the virus, I am Ebony!”
The girl transformed into the man I saw in the reflection. It was Drew Ebony.
“Oh my god”.

I stepped back. Breathing vigorously, I didn’t know what to do, I grabbed the golf club from earlier and started smashing at the man, but it went straight through him, through his black jacket and striped white shirt. I had no hope. I was lost. He snatched the golf club and smashed me across the head with it on the base of my skull. I fell to the floor like a pin drifting from a table. He was a phantom.

“You just don’t know where to stop, do you?” he boomed. “You just don’t know when to give up. I want your blood”.

I lay on my side facing the wall, I could hear him, but it was like I was asleep, like I was in a dream. The last thing I heard was the radio and that word ‘phantoms’.

The next thing I knew I woke up lying on the couch, it was daylight, there weren’t any shutters on the windows, the fire was blazing. I stood up and my feet touched the cold marble flooring. I sped towards the door frantically, opening up I was at the protest, where the man was on the podium speaking. Everyone was shouting- “What about us? What about us?”. I heard an anonymous man in the crowd say- “Why can’t we get the cure, Why?”.

The man on the podium beamed through his microphone:
“All of you must report to the execution docks immediately, you are the immune, you are unlike the rest of us. You must all report to the execution docks immediately. Everyone here will be dead by midnight.”

Everyone in the crowd gasped.
“Drew Ebony you…. You can’t do this, Nooooo!”

So that was it. Drew Ebony wanted to kill everyone and rule the world. Everyone obeyed him, except the immune and I was an immune, so he came back for me.

I sped back in the house.

“Where are you? You…” “You evil piece of …” “Please! Stop.”

I scampered up the stairs and pulled out an injection needle from my wifes medical kit before she passed away. I plunged it into my arm and it sunk into my skin. The blood poured into the nozzle.

“You want this you… then come and get it!”

I appeared back in the darkness on the floor facing the wall with a huge migrane, however I still got up. I knew Drew was here, I didn’t know where. Luckily I had the syringe grasped tightly in my hand.

“Come out. Come out wherever you are.”

I was hunting him now. If he wants my blood I’ll have to give it to him. Then when he is human I can kill him. I looked in the mirror he wasn’t in it. I turned round the corner into the kitchen.

“Look who’s playing hide and seek, you know when I find you, you’re the one who is going to die”

When I turned into the dining room the little girl was there.

“ Please don’t hurt me. It’s not my fault. I didn’t mean to hurt anybody, I was only playing”.

I ran at her and stabbed her with the needle straight into the core of her heart. Her blond curls weren’t fooling me. I knelt over her.

“ You think you can kill me that easily. Your going to die. I will lead the phantoms into the light. I will destroy you. The last of them. Then all I need is your blood to turn into a human. But only after your dead!”.

She pushed me back and I slammed against the wall.

“ he he he. I am going to kill you. You’re going to die. I’m want your blood. I am Ebony and I’m going to kill you”.

I got up and ran at her, going straight through her.

“You are nothing but a mere mortal. I’m going to use your blood to be king, I need you dead first”.

I got up and threw the lamp at her. She didn’t flinch. I had an idea. I ran to the shutters outside, opened the latch and disappeared into the daylight.

Millions of black phantoms were roaming running, like they were scared. That’s when I realised they weren’t after me. They wanted me.

“So you finally found out the secret, well I will rule these phantoms, not you”.

I was standing in the middle of the plaza. The phantoms were running round and round. It was nice, I felt that nice tingling sensation inside. Ebony had gone and she wasn’t coming back

Heartofthedark
09-21-2008, 18:31:27
I like the first ending better :D :happydancing:

Clank
09-21-2008, 18:33:15
Really!!!! It does make more sense but i still like the second ending, does anything need improving

Heartofthedark
09-21-2008, 18:54:25
Nope :D

~GH Dog~
09-21-2008, 18:56:52
Make a second

Clank
09-21-2008, 18:58:00
Heart- Were you the one who made the site for LovelyUndead because i want you to make one fro me

E7- Thanks and i am

Heartofthedark
09-21-2008, 18:59:42
Geordie - Yeah I was :haha:

Okay i'll make one right away :)

Clank
09-21-2008, 19:45:12
Can i have some ideas for a new book please

LovelyUndeadVam
09-21-2008, 20:13:38
i think you should make the second of this! that was WAY too short! and you left it open! OH SO OPEN! you could do A LOT of things off that! like, make it so that the guy--what's his name again?--helps all the phantoms by finding out a cure! or something! then when they are all human again they could try and kill this Ebony character, but it could backfire and he could disappear, then when tha main character, bob i'm going to call him, is alone, Ebony is in the darkest corner of his house, and he tries to kill Bob, but Bob always keeps a syringe with the cure with him for just this reason!

*takes breath*

yeah. :)

Clank
09-21-2008, 20:18:06
Great it is good to have an opinion, especially the way you said it. But you never said if the story was good/bad and whether you liked it or not. I left it open so there could be a sequel and my teacher said you get more marks if you leave it for the reader to decide.
But everyone (emo, e7ga123, justeazy, heartofdark) wants me to write a new different one.

LovelyUndeadVam
09-21-2008, 20:19:06
i thought it was really really good! :) if you want to wirte something different s'okay. :D it's YOUR story.

Clank
09-21-2008, 20:26:55
If you were writing a sequel what would be the next first line of it

LovelyUndeadVam
09-21-2008, 20:29:28
"Everything was quite as i looked out the window."

first sentence. ;)

Clank
09-21-2008, 20:32:33
Very good but i was thinking.

I am Ebony and im going to kill you.

What did you think of the opening of the first story

LovelyUndeadVam
09-21-2008, 20:38:23
very descriptive. ;) i liked the similes in it.

Clank
09-21-2008, 20:40:32
But did you understand what it meant? because my friends think it is ####

LovelyUndeadVam
09-21-2008, 20:41:24
your friends thinks it's bad? what?

Clank
09-21-2008, 20:44:24
I didn't mean it like that, i meant the people i know think the opening goes on for too long, and as it is getting entered into an award if you read the very first post it needs to be perfect, so does any part of it need improving. I am concerned about the start

That is what i meant to say

LovelyUndeadVam
09-21-2008, 20:50:29
oh. no i like the beginning. but that's just me. i like my similes. :P

Clank
09-21-2008, 20:53:42
yeah there is loads of similes, metaphors and personification in there.

Ok just to get caught up on your story because i haven't read it, but i will has the second book got a title

LovelyUndeadVam
09-21-2008, 20:59:07
not yet. :hmm: i was going to wait until it's done. speaking of which the next chapter is up.

yeah i really like your story. :) i thought i was very good.

Clank
09-21-2008, 21:03:27
The next story will be coming soon, this is just an official warning

Gracie
09-22-2008, 03:47:34
Hey Geordieboy,
Well, I think its a great story..I do think you went on too much about describing this epidemic/virus in the first page..It took a lot of reading before we knew it was an epidemic/virus,especially when you told us its a short story. We had to read through your second paragraph for a very long time before we knew what was going on.You had some great descriptions to get us interested and to want to just keep on reading, but a bit too many. Its kind of like you were trying to build us (the reader up to much). You already had us interested.

Just my opinion. You ask for some constructive criticism. I think your wonderful at writing stories and you should turn it into a full book. Great job Geordieboy!

Justeazy
09-22-2008, 05:58:08
Hmmm... great constructive criticism Gracie!
You're not afraid to voice your oponion!

Clank
09-22-2008, 07:41:37
Yeah Gracie Thanks it is nice to have an honest opinion gotta go

Clank
09-22-2008, 17:16:58
If anyone has any ideas on the next story please let me know, your views are taken deeply into consideration

Clank
09-22-2008, 17:36:37
This is the last post in this page after this post the first chapter of my new story will be posted

Emo234
09-22-2008, 23:19:51
Pretty good start,a lil confusing,but good

Justeazy
09-23-2008, 01:10:39
Hmmm... don't know what's going on...
Is this a sequel to the first book, or a completely new one?

Also, I think it should be "bottle of water in the desert" not chocolate, as water is better, plus chocolate would melt really fast, :P

Emo234
09-23-2008, 01:14:45
@justeasy-this is a compleatly new book,at least that is what geordieboy told me ;)

LovelyUndeadVam
09-23-2008, 02:26:32
oooooooo, sounds like a thriller. :)

Chocbubbles
09-23-2008, 05:45:09
i liked the first paragraph but i got a little bit confused near the end, cause it was talking about a girl and her funeral and then it was suddenly a car chase.

Clank
09-23-2008, 07:39:16
Ok thanks for your comments, and i will give you a little hint to whats going on.

In this story there are two parts to it, the first is the funeral bit and the second is the assassin bit- so i will pt the funeral text in red and the assassin text in normal

Clank
09-23-2008, 17:05:03
Hey everyone i have writers block ----LOLOLOL-- and i dont know where to go with myu second story so i will post another one shortly

Clank
09-23-2008, 17:31:08
Are you ready? It's the next story of--

WARNING- THE STORY MAY SCARE YOUNG READERS

The Phantoms 2: The Darkness Beneath

Chapter 1

‘Hi I am Ebony and I’m here to kill you’.


I gazed out the window into the endearing sunlight, it was bright, it was nice, it was comforting. I saw the birds hunting around the park for the small scraps of food. I sat peering into the transfixing flames, as they blazed across the room, out of the door and into the tall shrubs, into the beckoning wildlife like a lily white dove escaping from the clutches of a cave. I saw a child ride up the path on his bike, he rang the bell on the handlebars and 3 more children followed him. I sporadically picked up my cup and sipped miniscule amounts of my piping hot tea.

You called me Drew; Drew Ebony actually. I was an inventor, a professor at Oxford University; I had degrees, lots of them, I was powerful… and rich which is an adorable combination. I was amazing, it was a fact, not an opinion, I was great, I didn’t care what anyone said.

To tell the truth I have a plan, a very cunning plan, so vivid, so tempting, so fixating, with the touch of brilliance. You wait and see my dear friends, it is a plan that could change the world, change the factual future, you see what I wanted I couldn’t get at the moment, I had to make something happen, something so clever, so evil, so delicate. I had to create the one thing that the world is lacking, the one thing that is life’s greatest mystery and that my dear friend is…


The cure for cancer.

Clank
09-23-2008, 18:50:23
So..... What does every1 think of it

LovelyUndeadVam
09-23-2008, 21:20:16
:o!! DREW EBONY'S POV?!?! :haha: yay! i was wondering what he was thinking!

~GH Dog~
09-24-2008, 02:54:33
Im 11 can I read it?

Clank
09-24-2008, 07:39:01
Yeah you can read it, i meant players who are 8 or younger, it doesn't get extremely violent and there wont be any weapons used so go ahead........

Clank
09-24-2008, 16:12:57
Here is the next part...........

CHAPTER 2

I loved to be me.. It was hard sometimes but I always knew I was special, I was gifted. It was like I had that something inside of me that urged me to go on, that special something that makes you, who you are.

From a child I was quite lonely, I always preferred to be alone, I always preferred to be by myself instead of working with others, I always loved to take part. And we get back to my home, it was in front of a beautiful children’s park, however it did seem noisy, some people would take pleasure in the noise but I preferred silence. Yet I was free, I was like a dog in a kennel, and could easily get out. In all of this in the magnificent midst of this conversation should we get back to the cure.

The cure takes out the cells in your body and replaces them with new ones. This procedure naturally causes your immune system to rise and your body to work naturally.

However there is one minor detail I missed out… a little something that will grant me power. The cure may stop cancer, but it will change you, it will make you.. A phantom.

In case you were wondering a phantom is an unreal being or sensation: something that can be seen or heard or whose presence can be felt, but that is not physically present. An illusion to be precise.

I stood up naturally when I heard a bang outside, but it wasn’t important. I breathed heavily. My plan would work I knew it would. I walked over to the fire and put my hands over, it would warm me up. I lifted my head up and looked at the picture in the wooden frame above the fire, she was my little girl, she was called Ebony.

Clank
09-24-2008, 19:31:00
WHAT does everyone Think?

LovelyUndeadVam
09-24-2008, 23:01:36
ooooo getting quite into the plot now! i'm 'cited! i can't wait!

~GH Dog~
09-24-2008, 23:26:33
love it

geting so good

Clank
09-25-2008, 07:23:33
Thanks e7ga123 and lovelyundeadvam, it is really good to hear feedback

Clank
09-25-2008, 16:36:39
Next chapter up shortly

Clank
09-25-2008, 17:14:23
Chapter 3

My daughter, Ebony was a sweet girl, she was peculiar in her ways, but her manners were perfect, she was a kind, sweet generous person, I loved her.

You may be asking how she died?

Ebony died of cancer at the early age of 4. She was my little girl, it broke my heart to see her like that, it was as almost as if she had never been there. I had hold of her hand in the hospital where she gently fell asleep, the machine bleeped and it was all over. Her life had finished when it barely just begun. I wanted to bring her back, I didn’t want to move on so I invented a ‘cure’ that would turn everyone into phantoms and wake the dead on this earth.

I sat back down and picked up the local newspaper from the rack and noticed a headline. “INSPIRING INVENTORS COME ALONG YOU MIGHT JUST BECOME A REAL INVENTOR”. Wow I thought, wouldn’t that be great, I could announce the cure then, the press will be there. Everyone who means someone will be there. Drew Ebony- The Great All Time Geneticist or what about Dr Ebony- The curer of Cancer. Great thoughts, I wanted it to happen, I wanted to claim revenge on the person who let my daughter die, I wanted vengeance. I cut the article out and stuck it to my fridge with a large magnet, with a picture of my lovely little girl on it. “ I will help you my sweet girl, just wait, it is coming and its coming fast”

I opened the fridge and dug out a tin of tuna mayonnaise and a large tub of butter. I pulled the lid from the bread bucket and started to make a sandwich. I felt the bread go moist when I ripped into it. I picked up the knife I used to cut the bread. I threw it across the room, it stabbed into the photo of an unknown man on the wall, the man I was waiting for.

Clank
09-25-2008, 18:39:40
so what do you all fink??

LovelyUndeadVam
09-26-2008, 02:22:51
OMG. OMG OMG OMG. i want to know what's going to happen! OMG! hurry with the next chapter!!

Justeazy
09-26-2008, 02:44:28
"This procedure naturally causes tour immune system to rise and your body to work naturally"

What is a tour immune system?

Clank
09-26-2008, 07:14:55
Thanks lovely undead and justeazy the mistake has been changed lol

Clank
09-26-2008, 15:54:59
HI I WANT TO KNOW THE BEST time to post chapter 4 of the story??????????

Clank
09-26-2008, 19:40:20
DOES anyone know of anyone else who has read my story so i can add them to my lists of thanks, anything would be helpful... The first story never got through to the young writers award thing. BUT i will never give up lol/....

Emo234
09-27-2008, 16:43:51
Ok 1 is good,but that's a big task to attempt lol but hold on I go more reviews ;)

2 is really catching.When u read it u then really want to know what is next :D

3 is really good,nd I get all of it now the first story nd the 2nd lol.This is good real good :D

Clank
09-27-2008, 16:58:47
AWWWWWWWWWWWWW thanks emo, gud to hear feedback, the next chapter is coming soon, but needs a few alterations first LOL

Emo234
09-27-2008, 16:59:43
Oh ok I think I know what's going to happen,but then again I might not,lol

Clank
09-27-2008, 17:02:29
Yeah, i like the next chapter, definitely the most creative, just needs one alteration

Emo234
09-27-2008, 17:04:02
Hmmmmm well can't wait :D

LovelyUndeadVam
09-27-2008, 17:54:19
ooooo, OOOOO! i can't wait either! i'm so excited. :D

Clank
09-27-2008, 17:55:41
AWWWWWWWWW GOOD!!!!!!!! ONE THING I am finding it hard bringing both stories together and i am having trouble but it will be here shortly...

Clank
09-27-2008, 18:13:10
Here we go...........

CHAPTER 4

“Hi I am back, I have rose from the dead, I sleep eternal nights, I rise from the grave when he summons me, then I turn into him, I am dead but I am there, I am not present, I am a phantom”.

“Time will tell before I awake, I will serve my master, I will help him, forever he is mine, I will befriend him into infinite sleep. I will take his blood, and kill him when he falls, for the chosen one will die at the devils door. The mercury blood will be spilt when the merciless spirits pray, because we are one day nearer, I will lead the way”.

“ You will be my servant, my slave at the end of the world, my life will be unspoken at the dawn of the endless world, my life will be taken by my own flesh and blood, I have been suffering and enslaven but now the time has come to reek vengeance over the man who killed me, the man that took my life, the man that destroyed my father and has infinite life. The time has come. Are you Ready? I am!”

“My little girl, Ohhhhhhhh!”.
“Hello father, I speak the truth, I know of the future, you must give your body to me, I know what you are planning, I know of the man that your going to kill”.
“Ebony”.
“Take my hand and give me your soul, I will take you, I will take you, you know”.
“Ebony, avenge yourself, punish him, you have got to.”
“I know what I have to do father, I will be waiting, you will get back your life, you will rule the phantoms, I will make sure of it.”

LovelyUndeadVam
09-27-2008, 18:20:49
kind of hard to follow who is speaking but good other than that. :)

Emo234
09-27-2008, 20:08:56
I knew it the pic of the man from chapter 3 was the main character in book 1.That makes lots of sense. I will only predict what I think will happen next if u want me to tho :D. Once again I thought it was great ;)

Justeazy
09-28-2008, 03:51:40
It's pretty good!

I'm confuzed about some things, but I will leave those hopefully to be answered in later chapters...

Clank
09-28-2008, 08:20:03
Please tell me about the things you are confuzzled by because i am as well, and i am trying to write it so everything becomes clear without blabbing on about it. I wanted to say it in a different way LOL :P

Clank
09-29-2008, 19:07:33
Hi Again here is the fifth chapter of my story, with a HUGE help from LOVELYUNDEADVAM, please give her credit because she has helped me a great deal on this chapter..

CHAPTER 5
Ebony smiled. Her small, white teeth shown in the darkness. Her little grin reminded me somewhat of something evil, but I knew that my little girl couldn't be evil. Ever. She was soft and fragile, like a petal from a flower.
“Father, did you miss me?”
“Yes, my dear, sweet child. I've missed you more than you know.” she grinned.
“Good.” she came near me, and when I held out my arms she went through me. It unsettled me, but I tried my best to ignore it. I felt a piercing chill in my back.
“You have been good to me father, but now it is time, it is time for you to say goodbye, goodbye to the world, goodbye forever, because now, father, I am going to kill you.” she whispered.
“If my time has come, my dear daughter, I will accept it. I am ready, are you?”

She pulled a knife from the drawer, I heard the metal slide over the wheel and the sharp tingle at the tip of the knife. The small footsteps tapped on the lino on the floor.
“I love you, my sweet little girl”, I said, crying.
“I love you too father, I will remember you”.
The knife plunged into my back into my spine and shattered into my heart, the blood ripped out onto my shirt.
“Oh, oh oh oh oh”, I wept.

I fell to the floor crying.
“Ebony, take his life, take his heart and get his blood”.
“Father, I will, bye bye daddy I love you”, Ebony smeered.

She touched his forehead. “Let me control your body, I want you”.

LovelyUndeadVam
09-29-2008, 19:15:32
HA! i can't be given credit for the end!!! that was good. :P

Clank
09-29-2008, 19:17:12
Thanks but the start is excellent LOL

LovelyUndeadVam
09-29-2008, 19:18:24
:shy: well, i wouldn't say that...

Clank
09-29-2008, 19:19:59
yeah, well it is, credit should be given where it is deserved LOL

LovelyUndeadVam
09-29-2008, 19:20:57
you mean to the both of us? cause you came up with half and i came up with half? :P

:$:$

Clank
09-29-2008, 19:21:55
:d...

LovelyUndeadVam
09-29-2008, 19:23:14
hahaha. well then, WHAT are you going to do now? (as if i didn't know) :haha:

Clank
09-29-2008, 19:24:07
HHHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH YOU tell me :S

LovelyUndeadVam
09-29-2008, 19:24:53
HMM, do we want to give it away? :haha: i think we should make the suspense kill them!

Clank
09-29-2008, 19:26:58
Yeah i agree *sips black coffee in front of the burning flames* Ok so should we do the next chapter :S

LovelyUndeadVam
09-29-2008, 19:28:21
:hmm: well, maybe we should have a SECRET MESSAGE! hahaha! me and heart have--oops, i mean don't have one! :P

Clank
09-29-2008, 19:29:38
Yeah!!!! YEAH PM me on ideas :P

Emo234
09-29-2008, 23:15:31
Ummmm......ok that was NOT expected lol.But it was good. I'z a lil confused tho.Why did she kill her dad? :appl: to both of u tho ;)

Clank
09-30-2008, 07:26:04
She killed her dad so she can do her big plan and .... ooh i better stop there