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Chocbubbles
09-22-2008, 06:47:57
Ok, so I'm writing this kinda, crime/thriller/mystery type story. But no matter how hard I think I can't think of a good title for it. Anyone got any good suggestions?

Here's a little bit about the plot and characters:

Main character: Girl. 14 years old, her names Misty Gromwell

Plot: Early in the morning the phone rings, Misty answers it. A detective tells her he needs to speak with her urgently, but won't tell her why. A mysterious man turns up in her street looking for something (he's not looking for Misty but he finds out later, she can help him find what he's looking for, but Misty doesn't know anything about what's going on.)

So, yeah that's basically it. Anyone have any ideas? :)

Justeazy
09-23-2008, 03:15:00
Hmmm... that's little to go by... but...

How about...
The unknown mystery??? :?
My role in fate's game??? :?
Crime of Misty Origins??? :?
A Misty Mystery??? :?

Wait... does "Girl 14" mean she is 14 or something else?

Chocbubbles
09-23-2008, 05:40:08
it means she's 14

i like the 3rd one: The Crime of Misty Origins, but it isn't quite wat im looking for. :)

Justeazy
09-24-2008, 01:40:31
Hmmm... well, I don't know the story, so that's the best I can come up with... for now...
I'll think on it and maybe post some more later...

Clank
09-24-2008, 16:57:41
Well i thought of the title for LovelyUndeadVams book so here are my suggestions.

-All Clued Up
-A mistery
-A misty Call
-Clues bite
-Detective misty
-The calls, the clues and me, misty tromwell

But if you wrote the first chapter i will think of much better ones

LovelyUndeadVam
09-24-2008, 23:10:02
:hmm: it could always be somthing simple like Misty Gromwell: A Tale Of Murder

~GH Dog~
09-24-2008, 23:11:39
hello

Justeazy
09-25-2008, 00:57:16
Ummm... who are you saying hello to e7?

New ideas:
How about:
Crime in the Misty city??? :?
Misty Gromwell: Teenage Detective??? :?
See You Through the Mist??? :?
The Misterous call??? :?
Mistified by this Mistery/Mystery??? :?
Mistifying circumstances??? :?

More to come!!! :! (:P)

Chocbubbles
09-30-2008, 06:44:53
here's the first chapter tell me wat u think :)

1

'Hello?' Misty whispered hoarsly into the phone.
'Is this Misty Gromwell?' the voice answered.
'Yeah' Misty replied confused. She couldn't understand why the hell someone would be calling her this early in the morning. I mean it was 3:30 for goodness sakes! 'What do you want?' she replied hotly.
'I was wondering if I could talk with you for a while, in private.'
Ok, Misty thought, is this guy some sort of stalker or muderer? For the voice on the phone was male. 'Who are you?'
'My name is Detective Sam Murchison from North Shore Police Station.' he answered.
'Oh, well ummm what do you want, I mean I haven't done anything or seen anyone doing a crime.' Misty said, her voice starting to shake.
'No, I'm not calling because of that, sweetheart. I'm calling you to say that I would really appreciate it if we could speak very soon. I will of course speak with your parents first. May I speak with them now, please?'
'But it's 3:30am! Can't you wait until the sun is, like, actually up?' Misty whined.
'I'm afraid it's quite an urgent matter to discuss. Please I must speak with your parents. Then I can speak with you.'
'Fine' the girl mumbled. She slipped from the bed covers onto the cold floor not yet heated by the indoor heating. Grumbling and muttering to herself, Misty slowly crept along the floor, opened her door and stalked cat-like into the lounge area. Beyond that was the kitchen and then her parents room, which was connected to it.

The door made that creaking sound like in all great horror movies. Fortunately there wasn't the usual scene with blood and bones all over the place awaiting the girl's eyes. Misty's parents were perfectly fine and snoring in their bed. Misty roughly shook her dad awake and when he grunted and opened his eyes she handed him the phone and sat on the end of the bed patiently waiting. 'What do you need her so urgently for that you can't wait until the morning?' her dad was whispering icily. 'Are you crazy? Why should I believe you!' her dad shouted down the receiver, making Misty jump. Her mum stirred breifly, but simply turned over and went back to sleep. 'Dad, Misty asked, what does the detective want?' Her dad just flapped his hand at her, a signal that said to wait and let him talk.
'Look, he said, there's nothing you can-'
He stopped probably listening to what the detective was saying and then turned his head towards Misty.
'We have to be at the station in an hour, he told her, get ready, get something to eat and then we'll go.'

END OF CHAPTER ONE

Clank
09-30-2008, 07:38:58
Hi yeah, you need to know that when someone new speaks you need to start a new line..

But Yeah it was good, very intriguing, and exciting, think it will be a good read

Chocbubbles
09-30-2008, 21:17:41
thanxs i edited it :)

Justeazy
10-01-2008, 04:01:56
It is good!

Many details... makes me wonder what the "detective" said, :D

Chocbubbles
10-02-2008, 08:51:00
here's the first chunk of the 2nd chapter still writing the rest of it

2

Dressed in her best clothes and in sensible shoes, Misty stepped stifly out of her bedroom and into the softly lit hallway. She stopped to stare at a mark on the wall, thinking deeply about the situation she was in. A soft object was pressed into her hand and she lost her train of thought. Looking down she realised her dad had placed a muffin there, Misty stared at it until she heard her dad clearing his throat and red-cheeked, heart racing made her way to the car. Opening the car door she realised her mum would need to know what was happening or she'd wake up and get worried when no one was around. Dashing back inside Misty wrote a quick note explaining, as best she could, what was happening. All she wanted to do was go back to sleep and lie in the warm comfortable bed waiting for her inside. Instead she made her way back to the car. Once inside she placed the muffin on the dashboard, curled up on the seat and rested her head on the door, her breath bringing up little puffs of fog on the window.
.................................................. .......................
Snake-like the dark coloured Honda Civic twined around the bend of Rainey Ave, smoothly gliding past the bus shelter and up the narrow street. It arrived at number 9 and paused there. A man adorned in a blue suede suit, sunglasses tucked into the breast pocket, opened the drivers' seat door, elegantly extended his right leg out of the car and placed it on the footpath below. A Chinese man of fairly light build stepped out of the passenger seat holding a high-tech cellphone in his right hand talking tight-lipped into it in his native tongue.

Chocbubbles
10-03-2008, 07:31:46
2nd part chapter 2

The man in the blue suit snapped his fingers making the Chinese man look up at him then walk up and past him to ascend the concrete steps leading up to the house, the other man following closely behind.
Upon reaching it the blue suit man pulled out a 8", sharp edged knife from a loop in his belt. The door which he faced was a simple wooden structure painted the deepest midnight blue.
With the knife held firmly in his burly, leathery hands he jammed the knife blade into the minute slit between the door lock and the door frame. Jiggling and rattling, the knife sought to break the lock, finally it gave way granting the men passage into the house.
The Chinese man finished with his conversation, sneered eagerly at his partner and stepped forward to shove the door open, revealing the room behind it.
Insipid walls covered the in dirty patches of mould and what appeared to be spaghetti sauce, dirty floors, rugged and worn from years of neglect and treading feet, the chairs and tables in the dinning room spotted with holes and rust on the metal parts, all these added to the gloomy atmosphere of the abandoned house.
To many people the house was old and worthless, it had no great value to them and various families had complained to the council about demolishing it, or at least renovating it, making it appealing enough to sell. However the council just didn't seem interested, simply ignoring their requests.
The two men were the few people who actually knew exactly what its real value was. Value in this case did not point towards money or riches directly but a handful of hidden items within this place were of some value and could help them unearth something more valuable and personal for both men. Surveying the room they each chose a door that lead to a different part if the place. The Chinese man stepping through a faded and peeling, light blue door that lead to the kitchen and pantry, the other man stepping through a rusted metal coloured door that opened onto a flight of stairs leading up to a dingy, poorly lit hallway and off into the darkness above.

END OF CHAPTER TWO

Alias
10-05-2008, 04:59:04
Hmmm,:hmm: how about:

A call from fate

It takes three

(more to come)

Chocbubbles
10-11-2008, 23:47:20
3

“It’s come to my attention,” detective Sam Murchison stated, “you’re not much of a morning person.” He flashed his teeth at the teenage girl sitting in the metal chair in front of him. Misty stared poker-faced right back at him, unblinking with her arms crossed over her chest. ‘Who does this guy think he is? Misty thought. “What am I doing here?,” she said in an even tone, “I’ve been here for nearly half an hour, yet you haven’t told me anything important, or anything to do with ‘the urgent matter’ you talked about on the phone.”
“Yes, yes, yes. I know you have questions, but I can’t answer them now, I have more important things to attend to.”
“And what exactly are these ‘things’?” Mike Gromwell questioned. He had been silent since the car ride to the station, until this moment.
The detective stared at the man for half a second, hands on hips, considering his request before deciding against for his daughter’s sake. Instead he said, “Look, all I can tell you is that you need to look after your daughter. Just keep her safe and keep in contact with us at all times.”
Misty was about to explode with fear. She was starting to shake but didn’t want her dad to worry, so kept quiet.
“That’s honestly all I can tell you for now,” the detective continued to say, “please, it’s for everyone’s safety.”
“So you really expect me to accept that and stop worrying? Hah anyway I thought we were here so you could explain, properly, what was happening. All you would say on the phone was-“
He stopped himself, remembering the presence of his daughter in the room.
“All he would say was, what Dad? Misty probed.
“Uh...all he would say was how urgent and important it was to have this meeting...umm and that we had to meet him straight away.”
“Oh come on,” Misty exclaimed, “do you really expect me to believe you can be persuaded to get up at 3:30am that easily? He said something that made you hesitate and listen and listen to him, and that certainly wasn’t it!"

Justeazy
10-12-2008, 17:30:43
Is that ALL of chapter 3???

Awww... I thought(hoped) it'd be longer!!!

Chocbubbles
10-13-2008, 06:49:19
no it's not :D it says in the title 1st part chapter 3 :)
i'm still writing the rest :) ;)

Chocbubbles
10-21-2008, 09:25:13
Bright, searing light struck man in the blue suit square in the eyes, blinding him for a second. When the angry red colour cleared from his eyes he stared at the room in front of him and began to search the many drawers that cluttered the small, dingy kitchen.
Coming across one particular drawer, the man halted, pondering for a minute. This particular drawer was brown in colour and made of what first appeared to be flimsy wood. But on closer inspection the man found it was some sort of Pyrex glass, impenetrable from a knife or club. Frustrated he moved along to the next drawer, this one looking more promising. Painted a dull grey with a strange white stripe running from the middle of the handle down to the bottom left corner of the drawer, it seemed there was no hidden bolts or locks. Breathing heavily he pulled jerkily on the handle driving the drawer towards his torso. It stuck a bit halfway through but tugging it different angles seemed to work and it slid out easily after that. Crumpled papers and old mouse droppings were the sole inhabitants of the drawer, along with a couple of mice that leapt out, scared, when the drawer had first opened.

__________________________________________________

more to come!!!

Justeazy
10-24-2008, 06:11:25
Ooohhhh...
I am wondering where they are...
It isn't misty's house, is it???


Also, that first part (of the second part) "Blinding light struck man in the blue suit square in the eyes, blinding him for a second."

Blinding... blinding.... It sounds kinda repetitive.
but GOOD STORY :D

Chocbubbles
10-24-2008, 06:43:37
thanxs, didn't notice that :) :hug2:
i'll change it later.

nup it's not cause Misty doesn't live in Rainey Ave. she lives a couple of blocks away from that house :D

Justeazy
12-23-2008, 05:47:58
Do we get anything more on this book?

Is it going to be a series, or just a stand alone?

Chocbubbles
12-23-2008, 06:50:41
it's just gonna be the one book for now
but i might decide to do another later on

oxamiraxo
12-23-2008, 07:03:44
fate's call

RBS
12-24-2008, 05:46:28
Cold Call

Chocbubbles
01-25-2009, 06:29:08
well i decided what to call it...

"Misty Origins" thanxs Justeazy for the name :P :)

Justeazy
01-26-2009, 18:50:48
You'res welcomes Choc...
and I feel honored... :shy:

^_^

Be sure to tell us if it ever gets published!

ohoud
02-24-2009, 03:02:08
hellow ! any body here!
look you have to create the title
take it easy its only a title and here is a little secret try to think about the title at the time between being a sleep and awake see..the time when all the thout in your head is mixed and you really wanna sleep that time is the perfict time i dont know why but you would notice that all the perfict thoughts and ideas would come to you at this time
and you have to keep a pen next to u or it would be a forgotten thoughts he he he
try it ok!