Page 3 of 24 FirstFirst 1234513 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 235

Thread: Jokes

  1. #21
    Administrator GamersHood's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    on the edge
    Posts
    4,851

    Default

    lol, where's #9

    He who fights and runs away can run away another day.



  2. #22
    Veteran rosiemay05's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    in your bed ;-p ( wales really)
    Posts
    833

    Default

    i actually did number 14!!! lmao, these jokes are great guys, thnx,

    not a joke just a funny clip
    http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=16683y clip
    Last edited by OneBun; 03-25-2007 at 08:54:55. Reason: merged posts
    Reality is an illusion created by lack of alcohol

  3. #23
    pitbull saviour Jellybean's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    stupid cold wisconsin
    Posts
    513

    Default

    Man of the House:
    The husband had just finished reading the book, 'MAN OF THE HOUSE'.

    He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his
    wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you
    to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law!
    I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward.

    Then, after dinner, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax.

    And when I'm finished with my bath , guess who's going to dress me and comb my
    hair?"

    His wife replied, "The funeral director would be my guess"!
    ==============================================
    >> GOOD
    >>
    >> Madison, WI policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but
    >> wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the proble! m - a 12-year-old boy
    >> was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read "RADAR
    >> TRAP AHEAD". The officer also found the boy had an
    >> accomplice who was a bit further down the road with a sign reading
    >> "TIPS" and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)
    >>
    >>
    >> BETTER
    >>
    >> A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated
    >> radar post in La Crosse, WI. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being
    >> cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police
    >> responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.
    >>
    >>
    >> BEST
    >>
    >> A Young woman was pulled over for speeding. A Wisconsin State Trooper
    >> walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I
    >> bet you are going to sell! me a ticket to the State Trooper's Ball. "He
    >> replied, "Wisconsin State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment
    >> of silence. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and
    >> left.
    Last edited by OneBun; 03-25-2007 at 08:54:23.

  4. #24
    Ouch! A Spike! OneBun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Careful: I'm that bump underneath your rug.
    Posts
    5,021

    Default

    Your "good, better, best" was really good. They gave me a good laugh! lol Thanx!

  5. #25
    Veteran Cyber Girl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Glasgow
    Posts
    409

    Default

    hahahah good one jellybean i especiall liked the man of the house one

    Two women friends, incredibly drunk and walking home got caught short.
    They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their
    business behind a head stone or something. One of them had nothing to wipe with
    so she thought she'd take off her panties and use them, then throw them
    away.
    Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive underwear set and
    didn't want to ruin hers but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a
    wreath that was on one of the graves and proceeded to wipe herself with
    that. They then made off for home. The next day one woman's husband
    phoned the other husband and said "We'd better keep an eye on our wives you
    know, mine came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing" said
    the other "Mine came back with a card stuck between her ass that said 'From
    all the lads at the fire station. We'll never forget you'."

  6. #26
    SuperWolf Eternal Becky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Dimona, HaDarom, Israel,
    Posts
    15,074

    Default

    Don't ever cheat because the government hates competition.
    Cℓĭck Here to pℓαγ "Tђє First Door"
    tђє мost cђαℓℓєηgĭηg oηℓĭηє qυєst.




    "We don't stop playing games because we grow old,
    we grow old because we stop playing games"

  7. #27
    Ouch! A Spike! OneBun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Careful: I'm that bump underneath your rug.
    Posts
    5,021

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Eternal Becky
    Don't ever cheat because the government hates competition.
    lol! That's the truth... especially in America!

    An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.

    He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.

    Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.

    Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.

    Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.

    The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

    The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"
    Last edited by OneBun; 03-25-2007 at 09:03:17. Reason: typo ooppss :P

  8. #28
    pitbull saviour Jellybean's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    stupid cold wisconsin
    Posts
    513

    Default

    rosiemay, i like your avatar's stars. i just got a tattoo with stars like that with a lion head a couple of cherry blossoms

  9. #29
    Veteran rosiemay05's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    in your bed ;-p ( wales really)
    Posts
    833

    Default

    This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
    While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
    He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
    He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on.
    She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said "For best results, put on two coats."

    oh cool jellybean, i got a rose bud on back of my shoulder for my b'day last year, i want to get a nice butterfly on my lower back, but cant seem to find a really nice one, might find one for my b'day this year! lol
    Last edited by OneBun; 03-25-2007 at 09:02:00. Reason: merged posts
    Reality is an illusion created by lack of alcohol

  10. #30
    pitbull saviour Jellybean's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    stupid cold wisconsin
    Posts
    513

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by rosiemay05
    oh cool jellybean, i got a rose bud on back of my shoulder for my b'day last year, i want to get a nice butterfly on my lower back, but cant seem to find a really nice one, might find one for my b'day this year! lol
    you should try and look for designs on the internet, there's some good artwork at http://www.deviantart.com/ i don't really like to copy other peoples work so i find a picture i really like and draw something similar to it. i've got 13 tattoos and searching to find another one, a nice looking buffalo/bison with yellow clouds; to honor my husband.

Similar Threads

  1. Host Master and the Conquest of Humor
    By OscarW in forum Walkthroughs
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 03-26-2009, 19:04:52
  2. Most Embarrassing Moment
    By bread in forum About Members
    Replies: 58
    Last Post: 06-10-2008, 21:48:02
  3. Smart Stick 1
    By GamersHood in forum Point and Click Adventure Games
    Replies: 118
    Last Post: 12-17-2007, 23:29:22

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •