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  • #16
    ok here's number two.I don't like this one as much as I like the first.


    As I sit here trapped in my head.
    My thoughts race in my head.
    I scream,but no-one hears.
    I try,but no-one understands.
    The pressure,the deppression.
    The confusion overwelms my brain.
    The anger.
    The resistance.
    The love.
    The hate.
    The sweet.
    The sorry.
    Life,life can come,and life can go.
    The days,hours,minutes slowly dissolving my exstance.
    Like clay shattered on the pavement.
    The tourture of the thought.
    Do I like it or do I hate it?
    The tears that I hide behind my eyes.
    The pain in my thought won't go away.
    The pain won't lessen.
    The pain just won't fade away.
    2~28~10 <3

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    • #17
      why are they all so sad
      but still they are really good

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      • #18
        Its good but it lacks continuous rythym (PLEASE TAKE NO OFFENCE IN THAT)
        New York!
        Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
        There's nothing you can’t do,

        Now you're in New York!
        These streets will make you feel brand new,
        These lights will inspire you,
        Let's hear it for New York, New York, New York

        JAY Z AND ALICIA KEYS - EMPIRE STATE OF MIND CLICK HERE

        Comment


        • #19
          Cuz I was going throught a ruff time so I wrote about it nd this is the result


          @geordieboy-That is exactly what I thought,I just posted cuz I wanted to see what ppl would think. Thnx
          2~28~10 <3

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          • #20
            well its happy now!

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            • #21
              good
              2~28~10 <3

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              • #22
                i can't write happy poems. sorry. sad or depressing poems have more meaning.

                GH Family (possibly the coolest )
                Brother: ~GH Dog~
                Cousins: Chocbubbles, Animal Dragon, Yoshifan19, Emo234, 2 Tails, funja
                (highlight the text, there's someone hiding. )
                Ghost Robot Cousin: Clank

                Comment


                • #23
                  Cool poem
                  New York!
                  Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
                  There's nothing you can’t do,

                  Now you're in New York!
                  These streets will make you feel brand new,
                  These lights will inspire you,
                  Let's hear it for New York, New York, New York

                  JAY Z AND ALICIA KEYS - EMPIRE STATE OF MIND CLICK HERE

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    thank you.
                    GH Family (possibly the coolest )
                    Brother: ~GH Dog~
                    Cousins: Chocbubbles, Animal Dragon, Yoshifan19, Emo234, 2 Tails, funja
                    (highlight the text, there's someone hiding. )
                    Ghost Robot Cousin: Clank

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      wow that's my life right there lol,really good luv
                      2~28~10 <3

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        thanks.
                        GH Family (possibly the coolest )
                        Brother: ~GH Dog~
                        Cousins: Chocbubbles, Animal Dragon, Yoshifan19, Emo234, 2 Tails, funja
                        (highlight the text, there's someone hiding. )
                        Ghost Robot Cousin: Clank

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Ok so here is my next one, i think it is loads better than my first

                          I lie awake.
                          I tremble.
                          I shudder.
                          I make my point.
                          But it gets lost in the fray.
                          I tighten my threads and fasten my lace
                          I pace the walk of fame,
                          up the street and out into the open
                          The welcoming doors pull you in
                          the echoes of pain drag you in
                          a day of suffering, a day of pain
                          Thats what it is.
                          Thats what it is.
                          The walk of fame lights up my path.
                          Enter the door i do and pace up the steps.
                          I fall, i never stop, i keep falling, i drop.
                          The fall was long.
                          Thats what it is.
                          Its me, my life, day after day
                          New York!
                          Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
                          There's nothing you can’t do,

                          Now you're in New York!
                          These streets will make you feel brand new,
                          These lights will inspire you,
                          Let's hear it for New York, New York, New York

                          JAY Z AND ALICIA KEYS - EMPIRE STATE OF MIND CLICK HERE

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            ! wow that was really good too Geordie!
                            GH Family (possibly the coolest )
                            Brother: ~GH Dog~
                            Cousins: Chocbubbles, Animal Dragon, Yoshifan19, Emo234, 2 Tails, funja
                            (highlight the text, there's someone hiding. )
                            Ghost Robot Cousin: Clank

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Not to be big headed but i thought that was good but my first one was rubbish
                              New York!
                              Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
                              There's nothing you can’t do,

                              Now you're in New York!
                              These streets will make you feel brand new,
                              These lights will inspire you,
                              Let's hear it for New York, New York, New York

                              JAY Z AND ALICIA KEYS - EMPIRE STATE OF MIND CLICK HERE

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                naw it's not big headed. i know my poems are good because i've been writing the same stuff for years, but i'm just to modest to say that kind of stuff. even now i want to deny what i just said. and your first one WAS good! no worries.
                                GH Family (possibly the coolest )
                                Brother: ~GH Dog~
                                Cousins: Chocbubbles, Animal Dragon, Yoshifan19, Emo234, 2 Tails, funja
                                (highlight the text, there's someone hiding. )
                                Ghost Robot Cousin: Clank

                                Comment

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